


One Song Glory

by bioticnerfherder



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Music, Alternate Universe - Rock Band, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Mutual Pining, OT6, Too Many Pop Culture References, also lots of pop culture references, college grads dealing with life after college, i apologise for shamelessly stealing the title from RENT even though it has nothing to do with it, prepare for lots of song lyrics, though admittedly they're more of an indie/alternative band
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-08
Updated: 2017-02-01
Packaged: 2018-09-07 23:02:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 33,102
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8819602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bioticnerfherder/pseuds/bioticnerfherder
Summary: Over two years after graduating from Juilliard, Ben decides he wants to reunite the Knights of Ren, a cover band they formed to make rent as college kids in New York City. But two years can be long time, and the band members have moved on - friendships are strained, romantic feelings forgotten. Or are they? 
featuring: Ben on vocals and bass, Poe on lead guitar, Finn on rhythm guitar, Phasma on keyboards, Rey on drums, and Hux as their songwriter/kind-of manager.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The musicians/band AU that absolutely NO ONE asked for! (I'm not sorry)
> 
> I wrote the first chapter of this while I was supposed to be studying for finals. And made a moodboard for it too, [here](http://bioticnerfherder.tumblr.com/post/155607256176). I held off on posting anything until I had a good chunk of it written out, so that I'd be motivated to finish it and finish it quickly (watch those be my famous last words lmao. anyway.) and though I've had this AU idea in my head for a long ass time, I was really spurred to actually sit down and write while listening to Adele at 1am and crying over the 'Friends to Lovers' trope (also while procrastinating for finals). Apologies in advance for any inaccuracies, my music knowledge comes from being a former music student in high school who also had a band with my friends. So. Perhaps the musical perspective of this is based a little too much on my personal experience! But here, please take this fic out of my hands while I go fling myself into the sun!
> 
> A WORD ON CONTENT WARNINGS: I did not write about any particularly ~heavy~ topics in this, so pretty much the only content warnings have to do with alcohol consumption/recreational drug use (because hey these are kids fresh out of college) and briefly implied child abuse (only one sentence and only in the first chapter). If there is anything else anyone thinks I should definitely mention, please let me know! Also, the rating is teen mainly because of swearing/the aforementioned content; there's nothing that would quite push it up to mature.

Hux looked at his watch for the third time in five minutes, sighing into his coffee as he took a sip.

Of course the man was late. Even if Hux hadn’t seen Ben in two years, he should have known that Ben could not have possibly changed his perpetually-late ways. He’d had the habit for as long as Hux had known him, and probably even long before then too. It didn’t matter that Ben had said the matter was “urgent” - which was strange enough for not having texted each other in years - he would keep Hux waiting no less than ten minutes before sauntering into the cafe. Like he always did.

Like he had always _done_ , Hux corrected himself. Those days were long gone.

Fortunately, Ben had texted and asked to meet up on Hux’s morning off. He was planning on using the time to tweak his latest composition before uploading it, but it wasn’t completely necessary - instead, he could listen to it now, reckoning he had at least another five minutes before Ben showed up. Hux pulled out his phone and headphones to listen to his newest Logic Pro render: a piece inspired by Halo 5 as an ‘alternative’ soundtrack. Though he didn’t play the game himself, his YouTube subscribers had heavily requested it. ‘ _Yo @StarkillerMusic, you should do one of your revamps of the Halo 5 soundtrack!’ ‘your music is always so epic. listened to it while playing halo 5, your style goes great with it.’ ‘can u PLEASE do Halo 5??’ ‘@StarkillerMusic request: maybe Halo 5 or Fallout 4? you ROCK dude.’_

Even though he certainly had a long way to go before becoming the next John Williams, he was still doing what he loved - composing music. As far as Hux was concerned, that was putting his Bachelor’s in Composition to good use (no matter what his father said). Granted, he was also working two part-time jobs just to be able to make rent in New York City, but the revenue from his YouTube channel helped with his finances whenever bartending and cello tutoring couldn’t. So could he really complain?

Hux listened to all seven minutes of his Halo composition before allowing himself to look up this week’s charts again. Glancing over his shoulder to check that Ben or anyone he knew wasn’t around, he also checked the view count on the ‘Oil and Water’ video before quickly closing out of the app and locking his phone. At almost two million views, it was slowly becoming Hux’s most popular song. Not that anyone knew it was his; none of Hux’s real-life friends, not even Phasma, knew the real identity of the ‘The General’ - a producer who sold demos to young independent artists. Hux would sooner jump off a subway platform than admit he wrote romantic pop songs. To the people who knew him in real-life, he was a composer of soundtracks and grand orchestral pieces, not indie or pop.

If he sometimes had enough extra money to afford a round of drinks for his friends, no one questioned why and that suited him just fine.

“Hux,” a familiar baritone brought him back to reality, making him jump.

“Ben,” he nodded at the hulking figure sitting down across from him. Swallowing around the sudden lump in his throat, Hux somehow managed a civil “how are you?”

“Fine, okay,” Ben replied curtly, tugging off the wool grey scarf around his neck. His dark hair sprung free from being tucked into the scarf and he shook out the always-soft-looking locks as he looked back up at Hux. “You?”

“Alright. I see you finally learned how to dress for the weather,” Hux tried to joke, nodding at Ben’s scarf and the thick black jacket he was shrugging off. The weather was finally starting to turn, later than usual this year, but the wind in New York City always made it feel a few degrees colder than it actually was. Hux hoped Ben couldn’t hear how strained his voice felt, or how loudly his heart was thumping in his chest; deflecting tension with sarcasm was always Hux’s strong suit.

Draping the jacket on the back of the chair, Ben shrugged. “Rey made me wear it. Kept threatening she’d tell my mom to buy me a real winter jacket for Christmas if I get sick in this weather. And puffy down jackets don’t exactly go well with my aesthetic.”

Good. Ben was matching his sarcasm. This wouldn’t be as awkward as Hux thought it’d be.

“How’s, uh, how’s life?” Ben asked tentatively.

In an attempt to keep his hands busy, Hux picked up his now-cold coffee and sipped at it before he replied. “Not bad. Not exactly what I envisioned but we’re still young. Still got some ways to go.”

“You’ve, uh, got that YouTube channel, right? Starkiller?”

Hux tried to keep the surprise out of his voice. He’d started Starkiller Music after moving out of the cramped three (but in reality two) bedroom apartment they’d shared with their four friends. Rey had probably told Ben - though Hux couldn’t think why, considering the circumstances surrounding his moving out.

“Yes. It’s going, maybe not extremely well, but it’s definitely going. It doesn’t pay rent but it helps.” Hux cleared his throat. “You? Still on Soundcloud?”

Hux knew the answer. He just didn’t want Ben to know he did.

“Nah, since they started their whole Soundcloud Pro thing it’s gone down in popularity so, I haven't really been using it.”

Hux nodded, pretending he wasn’t subscribed to Kylo_Ren on Soundcloud. Or had notifications for him set up on Twitter. “Thank goodness for the internet, right?”

Ben offered him a small smile. “Right.”

Willing his skin not to flush at the sight of _that_ smile, Hux reached into his messenger bag for his wallet. “Can I get you a coffee? Or do you want to delve into this urgent matter right now?”

“I’m good, thanks,” Ben waved him off. “I stopped drinking coffee. I’ll just get a tea and then we’ll talk. Want anything?”

Hux shook his head as Ben got up and headed for the counter. On one hand, it was nice to know things weren’t awkward with Ben - they were actually having what felt like a normal, civil conversation. On the other hand, it was not so nice to know that Ben could still affect Hux how he did those years ago. He had hoped that he would have grown out of it by now; it would mean he up and left his old life for nothing.

He shoved the thought out of his mind. It’d been two and a half years. Normal people moved on with their lives. Hux was just… not normal. That was all.

“So,” Ben sat across from Hux again, this time a steaming mug of a deep pink-coloured herbal tea in his hands. “The urgent matter.”

“Yes, right. I’m listening,” Hux said as he lifted his own cold mug to his lips again.

“I’m getting the band back together.”

Hux tried not to choke on his coffee. Maybe some people _didn’t_ move on with their lives. “What did you say?”

“I’m getting the band back together,” Ben shrugged, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

Hux stared at Ben for a long moment, Ben holding his gaze innocently.

“Ben,” Hux sighed, realising how serious Ben was. “Why would a bunch of classically trained musicians reform their college cover band?”

“Because we won’t _be_ a cover band, we’ll do our own songs. And we’re all itching for some creative outlet, a new grand venture into the world of music, one way or another.”

“ _Ben_ ,” Hux said exasperatedly. “We’re all doing things to do with music. We don’t need a creative outlet. Phasma is a literally a pianist. She gets _paid_ to be one. One of _my_ jobs is literally music. Actually, two if you count Starkiller. I tutor cello and compose. That’s two. Rey teaches music, too.”

“Those are _jobs_. I’m talking about something for ourselves. If we can record something to sell or book a few gigs, that’s just a bonus.” Ben smirked like he’d done all the math already and it all checked out. “Besides, Phasma is a pianist in a jazz bar. You _know_ she wants more than that. You _know_ she’s just itching for somewhere to release her inner Yiruma.”

Hux frowned. Ben did have a point about Phasma. But by no means did that logic apply to him.

“Fine, great,” Hux put up his hands in surrender. “Get the band back together, do what you want.”

Ben beamed at him. “So you’re in?”

“God, no. You don’t need me for the Knights of Ren reunion.”

Pouting, Ben shook his head. “No, we do.”

“Why does this have to involve me?” Hux sighed. “Why do you want me in on this? And don’t tell me it’s because I’m the only one with perfect pitch. Poe used that excuse on me the first time and all I ended up doing was the arrangements and managing all of your asses.”

“And what a _great_ manager you were,” Ben grinned, “we wouldn’t have gotten half the gigs or made half the money we did if you weren’t on top of that.”

Undeterred by Ben’s humour, Hux’s tone was colder than he intended it to be. “Still doesn’t answer my question.”

This time Ben sighed. “I don’t want you to manage us, Hux. I want you to _write songs_ for us.”

“Songs?” Hux scoffed, trying to sound as offended as he could. “Come on, Ben, you know I don’t write songs. I only -”

“Compose pieces of music. Instrumentations. Orchestral suites. Yeah, yeah, I know. How could I forget? You composed half a symphony for your senior thesis.”

“Then why are you -”

Ben silenced him with a finger and pulled out his phone.

Hux had a very bad idea of where this was going.

“I’m asking you because of _this_ ,” Ben said, putting his phone down on the table to show Hux its screen.

Which displayed the cover art for ‘Oil and Water.’

Hux gulped. “What is that? Some pop song?” He prayed his eyes weren’t betraying his current emotions. He also prayed for a black hole to swallow him up right there.

“Come on, Hux, you know what that is.” Ben paused, holding Hux’s eyes in an intense stare. “Or should I call you General?”

“Ben,” Hux forced a laugh, hoping it didn’t sound fake. “You’ve gone mad.”

Ben narrowed his eyes at him. “Hux. You literally cannot lie to me. I _know_ you.”

His mirthless laugh evaporated on his lips and his chest felt suddenly tight. “Even after all this time?”

Leaning back in his chair, Ben folded his arms over his chest almost smugly. “Some things never change. You are one of them.”

Hux would never admit aloud how many ways Ben was right.

He remained quiet for a moment, finally sighing and leaning back to mimic Ben’s position. “How do you know?”

“Please,” Ben scoffed. “I lived through four years of being your roommate. That package included listening to literally _thousands_ of hours of your compositions and ' _experiments_.' I know your style.” He shrugged with one shoulder. “Besides, the melody is astonishingly similar to one of your old pieces. Not one that you ever rendered and used somewhere, but I still recognised it.”

“Right, well. No use in hiding it if you know. But I only do that on the side. _Very_ occasionally. And only to get over a block with my regular work.” That wasn’t necessarily true, but Ben didn’t need to know that.

“It’s good, though,” Ben insisted. “Your lyrics might need some work but the music itself is good. Imagine how good it could be if you actually put more effort into it than you claim to be doing?”

Hux sighed. He begrudgingly knew Ben was right. “And you want me to write songs for the Knights?”

“No. Well, yes, but we’re not sticking with that name. This is something new, not just a rehash of our college selves.”

“We?” Hux raised an eyebrow. “The others agreed already?”

Ben nodded. “Yes. And they also want you involved.”

Hux felt the blood drain from his face. “Do they know about the General too?”

“No!” Ben shook his head, obviously concerned with Hux’s sudden change in pallor. “I haven’t told anyone. They just think you’d be good at it. Since, you know, you were really good with the arrangements back in the day.”

“Okay,” Hux released the breath he hadn’t realised he’d been holding. “Thank you.”

Silence settled over the two of them as they stared at each other for a long moment.

“Just try it for a little bit, Hux. A few weeks, at least,” Ben pleaded quietly.

Hux swore at himself as he took in the sight in front of him - Ben’s imploring eyes, the slight pout of his bottom lip - and let the request hang in the air between them for a moment. He hated himself for not being able to say no. He never could refuse Ben anything.

“Fine,” Hux exhaled. “I’ll have to move around some tutoring sessions and work double shifts at the bar to free up a few nights, but fine. Only! On the condition no one finds out about the General.”

A wide grin stretched across Ben’s face, reaching his no-longer sad eyes. “Deal.”

***

Armitage Hux discovered his passion and talent for music completely by chance.

At age four, Hux’s parents decided to get divorced. His mother Eleanor had had enough of his father Brendol and the old family estate in Northern Ireland, so she returned to her hometown just outside of Boston, Massachusetts. Though Eleanor had tried to take her son with her, somehow the Commandant’s attorney Mercurial Swift managed to keep Hux in his father’s grasp. As soon as the ink on the divorce papers had dried, Brendol’s mistress Maratelle became Hux’s stepmother and the newly official couple shipped him off to a boarding school three hours away from the estate - close enough to visit frequently yet far enough to warrant boarding.

Hux could never bring himself to be sad over these events. After all, it was at boarding school where he first touched a piano and eventually, when he was old enough, where he first brought a bow to a cello’s strings.

To young Armitage, music came to him when his world had turned upside down and when he’d needed it most. He seized the opportunity immediately, diving headfirst into the world of music - within two years he was taking more difficult music theory classes with older students. Theory classes were his favourite, but mainly because his teacher, Rae Sloane, was also his cello tutor. Even better was that Hux’s enthusiasm for music behooved Brendol completely. Brendol, who did not know the difference between Mozart and Beethoven, nor between baroque opera and classical symphony. Eleanor, an artist herself, was the opposite - she was delighted her son was taking after her more than his father, and was the one who bought Hux’s first cello. He never told Brendol this, of course, because Brendol fully expected Hux to “grow out of this phase” and become an engineer or something similar, something “with actual substance” as Brendol put it. Hux kept good grades in everything to appease Brendol because an unsatisfied Commandant meant more time at home for reprimanding, which would cut into Hux’s precious practice hours. But between studying and music, Hux had little time for friends.

Hux had his first solo recital the year before he was to start high school. He made the mistake of challenging Brendol when his father hadn’t attended, and after a particularly severe scolding that ended in a shouting match and a sharp backhand, Hux had shown up at Eleanor’s house with his cello and a suitcase of his belongings. Eleanor finally got full custody in the aftermath and Hux was shipped off to New England for good by the end of the school year.

Just in time to attend summer camp.

Eleanor’s (and now Hux’s) hometown had two music schools, and it was expected to attend their summer camp in order to enroll in the fall. Choosing between the two was the only decision Eleanor ever let Brendol have a say in, but only because First Order Conservatory was run by an old acquaintance of his - former Maestro Snoke. It was at camp that Hux made his first friends: Phasma the pianist, whose own parents were British expats, and Finn the violinist.

Not too long afterwards, Hux met the rest of the friends that would shape his life for years to come: Poe the classical guitarist, Rey the percussionist, and Ben the vocalist.

***

“When exactly were you going to tell me about this, Phas?” Hux slammed his door shut, hanging his keys on the command hook stuck to the wall by the door and kicking off his shoes as he entered the apartment.

“So I take it you spoke to Ben.”

Phasma, despite being Hux’s oldest and arguably closest friend, was sometimes his most frustrating. She was the tallest of their group - often drawing attention to the height difference by perpetually wearing shoes with heels or wedges - and if her striking beauty wasn’t enough, her mind was as sharp as a butcher’s knife. She was a wizard on the piano, she could read people as if they were open books, and she could scheme like nobody’s business (though, usually her schemes _involved_ anybody but herself). So if she withheld information from Hux, there was obviously a reason.

“You assume correctly.” Hux balanced the phone between his cheek and shoulder on one side and then the next as he shrugged off his jacket. “How long have you known?”

“About a week.”

“Evelyn Phasma Mills. I saw you _yesterday_. Yesterday! You couldn’t warn me?”

It sounded like Phasma was chuckling across the line, but Hux couldn’t quite tell through the phone. “Ben specifically asked none of us to tell you. He wanted to talk to you himself. And no one would ever risk Ben’s wrath.”

Hux snorted in response. Stooping to pet Millicent’s head (after the cat had finally made an appearance from under the bed), Hux made his way across the studio apartment towards his kitchenette. “But this all just seems so… sudden.”

Phasma remained quiet for a moment.

“Phas? You still there?”

“Yes, yes I am. And it… It’s not quite as sudden as you’d think.”

“What,” Hux scoffed, “on Earth could you possibly mean by that?” He started to dig around in his fridge for some dinner, grimacing as he found a half rotten zucchini and a stale end piece of bread among the various take-out containers.

“Armitage,” Phasma admonished, “don’t sound so surprised that I kept in touch with him. _You’re_ the one that asked me to not share stuff about him with you.”

Hux hummed a noncommittal response as he threw the old food into his trash and pulled out a tupperware of leftover miso soup to stick in the microwave.

“Hux?” Phasma said, her tone careful.

“I’m here, Phas.”

“You said yes, didn’t you?”

“Well, we’re apparently all meeting up at Poe, Finn, and Rey’s on Sunday night to hammer out details. So, obviously.”

“Are you…” she hesitated. “Are you going to be alright?”

Hux watched the miso soup rotating in the microwave as it heated up, asking himself the question for the first time since reading Ben’s text that morning.

He did miss his friends. Even though he still saw Rey, Finn, Poe, and Phasma from time to time (though mostly Phasma and Rey), it wasn’t the same. He may have tried to move on from that life, tried to establish his own in the world, but Hux had to admit he missed playing music with his friends. There was something that thrilled him about getting the band back together, something that his repetitive cycle of work-tutor-compose couldn’t give him. But for Hux it was a win-lose situation; he was getting something of his old life back, yet he was risking his heart.

Because coffee that morning had made him come to the realisation: three years on, he was _still_ fucking in love with Ben Organa-Solo. Just _seeing_ him, barely a meter away across the table, had transported Hux back to the night he first realised it; which was also the night he’d decided to move out.

He was older now - he could deal with it, right? The six of them had all been friends for so long and known each other for even longer; Hux had to make this ‘new’ band work or he would probably mess their friendship up more than he already had. And that was the last thing he wanted to do.

He glanced at the picture taped to his fridge, the only decoration in his apartment, of the six of them at their Juilliard graduation. Hux decided he wouldn’t screw up this up. He owed his friends that much.

“Armie?”

“I’ll make it work, Phas.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hux’s youtube channel is completely made up but the gist of it is similar to youtubers like [Tommy Lucas](https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCTn68irGFi8M5EdYrfWqJuQ)
> 
> come hit me up on [tumblr](http://bioticnerfherder.tumblr.com/)!


	2. Chapter 2

Hux always looked back at high school with a laugh. During their undergrad years, the six members of the Knights of Ren were absolutely inseparable - they lived together, ate together, studied together, played music together - and to outsiders it appeared as though they’d been attached at the hip from childhood.

With the exception of Ben, Poe, and Rey, they had actually all met during high school. Ben and Poe were childhood friends while Rey had been adopted by Ben’s uncles Luke and Wedge; the three friends (and cousin) grew up together. They were close when younger, but by the time college rolled around they had added Finn, Phasma, and Hux to their tightknit group. And even though the six of them had been inseparable then, they hadn’t always been friends; the irony was that when they’d all first met in high school, they were mortal enemies. Or rather, what teenagers considered to be mortal enemies.

Hux, Phasma, and Finn attended First Order Conservatory, one of two music schools in their town, run by Maestro Snoke. Skywalker School of Sound (or Skywalker Sound for short), on the other hand, was run by Rey’s adopted father Luke. The two schools were fiercely competitive with each other, though that could mainly be attributed to adolescents using rivalry as an excuse to push themselves towards improvement. Finn had attended First Order for only two years before transferring to Skywalker Sound, and sometimes Hux and Phasma still teasingly called him a traitor. Ben himself had done a ‘trial’ summer camp at First Order sophomore year, an attempt by Snoke to steal Luke’s star student, but ultimately returned to his uncle’s school. That was the summer Hux and Ben had first become friends.

In the end, it hadn’t mattered where any of them went to school - they all ended up in the same college, where they all earned the same degree, and once you had a Bachelor’s of Music from Juilliard nobody really cared where you went beforehand. The fierce competition between Luke and Snoke’s schools faded into memory as soon as the six of them set foot in New York City, opening the door to their close friendship.

Hux wouldn’t have given that up for the world.

***

“Armie!”

Hux didn’t get a chance to respond before being engulfed in a tight hug.

For being on the more petite side, Rey was incredibly strong and could be very forceful physically,  _ especially _ with her hugs. It was one of the reasons the only two people Hux still let call him Armie were Rey and Phasma; Hux believed if someone could potentially kick his ass, they could call him whatever they wanted. That, and being allowed to use his childish nickname was reserved for those closest to him. (Which once upon a time included Ben, but Hux was definitely  _ not _ thinking about that).

“Hi Rey,” he managed to choke out once she released her vice grip on his ribcage.

He pulled away so that he could give her a proper smile, and looked down at his friend. Her brown hair was in its typical triple-bun style and she wore black yoga pants, a flannel, and fluffy baby blue socks.

“Come on, everyone’s in the living room.” Rey latched onto his arm and pulled him into the apartment’s hallway. “Have you eaten? We already ate but there’s leftover beans and rice in the fridge if you want.”

“I grabbed some dinner on the way, but thank you.”

Rey jostled his arm a bit. “I’m so glad you’re in on this. I missed you, I haven’t seen you in forever!”

“I saw you a few weeks ago,” Hux couldn’t help but chuckle. Rey simply radiated happy energy and just being in her presence always improved his mood - she was practically a ray of sunshine. “Don’t exaggerate, Rey.”

Rey pouted at him as she ushered them through the empty doorway of the living room. “But a few weeks is such a long time. You never come out to Brooklyn enough, Armie!”

“It’s because he’s too spoiled in his palatial Harlem abode,” Poe joked from his position on the windowsill. He reached out of the window and stubbed his cigarette on the exterior brick wall, blowing smoke outside before turning back to Rey and Hux. “How you doing, buddy?”

Though he’d been to their apartment exactly four times since Rey, Poe, and Finn moved in two years ago, the apartment somehow managed to look different every time. This time the coffee table actually had a comfortable-looking couch/futon and two mismatched armchairs surrounding it (replacing the gross stained couch picked up for free from a craigslist ad), all pointed towards an old flat screen TV and Xbox 360. The TV and the Xbox were precariously balanced on an IKEA table that was probably not intended to carry that much weight but was still somehow in one piece, hanging on for its dear life. A matching IKEA end table was nestled between the couch and one of the armchairs, with an ashtray and a picture frame scattered atop it - the same picture as the one stuck to Hux’s fridge. Poe’s black acoustic guitar was tucked into a corner of the room looking used recently and frequently, which, if Hux knew Poe, it was.

“I can assure you, my shoebox studio apartment is definitely not a palace,” Hux quipped as he took in the new look of the living room. Phasma, seated in one of the armchairs, smirked at him in greeting when she caught his eye. He rolled his eyes at her in response. “And I’m good, Poe. Yourself?”

“Great,” Poe said, hopping off the windowsill. Poe turned to shut the window, wiping some dust off on his pants when he straightened back up again. Hux guessed he’d had the day off, given his casual attire of sweatpants and plain cotton shirt. “I’d offer you a beer but we’re fresh out. Ben’s just gone to grab some.”

Hux nodded at Poe, accepting the one-armed hug when he approached. “How’s work?”

Poe sighed with relief as he flopped down onto an armchair. “Busy. With the cold comes lots of mechanical trouble. And since people are gonna be doing plenty of driving for the holidays, everyone wants their car checked out so they don’t break down.”

“Mm,” Rey hummed in agreement. She had taken up a spot on the floor between the TV and the coffee table, one of her legs tucked under her and the other stretched out below the table. “Unkar had me come in this morning; the garage is so swamped he had to open on a Sunday!”

Poe had worked at Unkar Plutt’s garage since college, where he'd become the shop’s most requested and most popular mechanic. It was something to do with both his “winning personality and magical fingers” (Poe’s words - his “magical fingers” were also what he claimed made him so good with the guitar, too). Rey worked part-time at the garage with Poe - her other job was at an afterschool program, teaching music to elementary kids.

“The holidays are always a busy time,” Hux conceded. “Where’s Finn?”

“On his way back from work, he’ll be here soon.”

Hux was about to have a seat on the futon when he noticed the pillow and neatly folded blanket resting on top of it. Quirking an eyebrow, he sat down anyway. “Having company?”

He didn’t miss the look that flicked between Phasma and Rey, but Poe was the one to answer without missing a beat. “No, that’s just Ben. He’s staying here while he looks for a new apartment.”

“He’s moving?”

Poe frowned at him quizzically, as if Hux had asked a stupid question. “Well, yeah. He decided to move back to the city. Since he, you know, has been back home for two years?”

“Oh,” was all Hux could manage. That… made a few things make more sense, now.

“You… didn’t know? Man, you guys didn’t ta-”

“Armie!” Rey interrupted Poe. “I listened to your latest upload on Starkiller. It was so good!”

Poe seemed to jump on the change of subject. “Yeah! Made me really want to play Halo 5. But, sadly we don’t have a fancy next-gen console.”

Hux gave Rey a small smile of thanks for saving him as Phasma successfully commandeered the conversation.

“Why don’t you look for a deal online?” Phasma said. “You’ve got both Black Friday and Cyber Monday coming up. I’m sure you’ll find  _ plenty _ of deals, plus people usually sell their old consoles on craigslist after buying a new one.”

“Yeah, well,” Poe pointed his chin at Rey. “ _ This _ one has cut into our house budget by increasing our food budget because she's decided to become vegan.”

Hux clutched his chest dramatically. “Rey! You'd really give up eating my shepherd’s pies?”

Rey stuck out her tongue at him. “You can use soy meats for that.”

“I'm gonna pretend I didn't hear that,” Hux retorted, giving Rey a (mostly) playful threatening look.

“So anyway,” Poe interrupted, trying to veer back on topic, “our house budget is kinda tight right now. Not that we ever have a lot to spare, but eating healthy is expensive these days.”

“Especially now that the farmer’s markets are closed because winter is coming.” Rey frowned with a look so solemn the rest of the room couldn't help but burst into laughter.

Phasma recovered first. “Alright, Lord Stark.”

Rey’s eyebrows shot up as she realised her accidental reference. A grin spread across her lips and she burst out laughing, setting off the rest of them again.

Hux had really missed this. He’d avoided group gatherings as much as possible since moving out to lessen the chances of running into  _ someone _ , which evidently might have been unnecessary if he’d been living at home for the past two years. 

Their laughter was interrupted by the sound of the front door opening, accompanied by a sing-song yell of “I’m home!”

“We’re in the living room,” Rey shot back.

Finn’s head poked around the doorway. “Found some random dude on the street who offered to buy us beer so I brought him up.”

Ben appeared behind Finn, rolling his eyes as he pushed past him into the living room. He set two twelve-packs of Becks on the coffee table before retreating back into the hallway while removing his jacket. “You’re welcome, Finn.”

Poe whistled as he practically lunged for one of the twelve-packs. “Ah, Ben, you spoil us with the good stuff!” He called after Ben. “Finn will only pick up Bud Light when I ask him!”

“Hey!” Finn laughed as he struggled out of his coat, revealing the jeans and red hoodie he wore underneath. He flung his coat onto the hooks in the hall before fully entering the living room. “If I’m gonna be forced to do a beer run in the middle of the night then I’m gonna get whatever I want!” He made his way to the couch, giving Hux a pat on the back while having a seat beside him. “Hey Hux! What’s up, man?”

“I’m good, you?” Hux tried to smile but his face was feeling oddly tight since Ben’s brief appearance.

“Great! Well, work could be better but it’s fine. And I’m excited for  _ this _ ,” he gestured around the room while reaching for a beer, “to help me deal with work! Though I did get to sell a kid his first violin today. It was great to help him pick it out, he was so excited. I feel like there’s not enough younger kids picking up the strings these days.”

Finn worked at the Finalizer, a large music store that sold records, CDs, sheet music, instruments, and other equipment. He’d made his way up to assistant manager fairly quickly but was still most excited about work when he got to sell children their first musical instruments.

“I trust you’re doing your best to rectify that, then?” Hux joked. As a string player himself, he was inclined to agree - it would be nice to get enough cello students so that he could quit his bartending job. “How’s Korrie?” Hux asked. Korrie, the younger sibling of one of his cello students, had recently decided she wanted to learn violin.

“Doing all I can, Hux,” Finn laughed. “And Korrie’s great. She’s picking up violin really well, thanks for sending her my way!” He opened the beer with his keys and offered it to Hux.

“Thanks,” Hux accepted the beer while Finn shrugged off his hoodie and reached for another beer. “And it’s no problem, Finn. Glad to help.”

Finn continued to make small talk with Hux, but Ben chose that moment to enter the living room after hanging up his coat and Hux almost lost track of the conversation, distracted by the navy blue t-shirt Ben was wearing.

Blue was always the best colour on Ben. Though Hux would never tell him that, because Ben had an affinity for black and grey.

Ben smiled at Hux silently in greeting as he sat next to Rey on the floor. Reaching over the table, he grabbed a beer and took the top off the bottle with an opener he produced from his pocket. Rey paused mid-sentence while saying something to Phasma and Poe to steal the bottle, making Ben roll his eyes and reach for another.

“Alright, kids,” Poe cleared his throat to draw everyone’s attention, “now that the big boss is here let’s get down to business, shall we?”

Everyone raised their drinks in Ben’s direction in mock salute.

“Guys, come on,” Ben scoffed, but it sounded more like chuckle. “It can wait a little bit, stop looking at me like that!”

“Well, Ben, we might as well talk about it now because you’ve got everyone’s attention. Besides, the sooner we get this over with the sooner we can focus the beer you’ve kindly donated!”

“Poe!” Rey admonished, sounding playfully scandalised. “It’s Sunday night!”

“So?”

Finn raised an eyebrow. “Some of us have work tomorrow?  _ You  _ have work tomorrow?”

Poe simply shrugged and winked.

“Besides,” Phasma snorted, “I’m pretty sure you can drink and talk at the same time, no?”

“Phasma have I ever told you that I like you the best?”

Ben chuckled again and gestured for Poe to settle down. “Alright Poe, you’re on your first beer and nowhere near drunk enough to start telling us how much you love us. But since you brought it up, we might as well just get this over with.”

Hux was observing the scene quietly, an entertained smile on his lips. The six of them hadn’t been in a room together since… the day of their graduation, most likely, and it was funny to see them settle into the same easy banter they used to.

“So, first things first, we -”

“How about a name?” Rey interrupted Ben.

Hux spoke up before anyone else could reply. “I hardly think that’s the most important detail.”

“Well it’s not like we don’t know who’s going to be playing or doing what,” Rey challenged. “Unless you’ve decided to play piano and Phasma will be the one composing?”

“Not a chance!” Phasma interjected. Like Poe and his guitar, Phasma also claimed to have ‘magical fingers.’

Rey smirked. “Point proven.”

Ben gestured again, obviously trying to steer the conversation back on track. “Okay, well, anything that’s not Knights of Ren because we’re starting fresh, but Hux is right. The name can wait. I was thinking we should talk rehearsal space and times, because you’ve all got different schedules and we can’t really practice in this apartment.”

Ben was right; when they’d been in college, it was easy enough to snag a practice room on campus but they didn’t exactly have that luxury now. If they didn’t have space to play, this endeavor was done before it could get off the ground.

Poe put down his empty beer bottle loudly and grabbed another. “I can get us a rehearsal space. I know a guy.”

Though Poe had grown up in New England with the rest of them, Poe’s parents Kes Dameron and Shara Bey were originally from Long Island. As a result, Poe had an extended family and all sorts of connections in the city - whenever you needed something, Poe knew someone. Poe always knew someone.

“A family friend, Norra Wexley, owns a townhouse over in Bay Ridge. She recently retired down in South Carolina and left the house to her son, Snap.”

“Wait,” Finn said between sips of beer, “isn’t that Temmin? The guy who brought the cake on your birthday?”

“Yeah!” Poe nodded. “Yeah, that’s him. He’s an old friend, him and his mom used to come up for holidays to escape the big city. The townhouse has a huge basement that Snap soundproofed a while back ‘cause he and Norra used to use it as a workshop and didn’t want to disturb the neighbours. Snap’s got his own shop now and doesn’t need the basement, so I’m pretty sure he’ll let us use it.”

“How sure are you that he’d let us use his house when he really only knows you?” Finn leaned forwards on the couch, resting his forearms on his knees, beer cradled in his hands.

“He already said yes, otherwise I wouldn’t have brought it up,” Poe grinned.

Hux inclined his head. He remembered Temmin, though he’d only been at Poe’s birthday party for less than an hour - he was still trying to avoid group gatherings at the time. “That’s… really convenient, Poe. Thanks?”

Poe pointed at Hux with his beer-clad hand, winking. “Anything for you, Starkiller.”

Hux rolled his eyes.

“Alright,” Ben cleared his throat, sounding slightly annoyed. “What about times?”

“When I’m not at the shop I’m free in the morning,” Rey started. “And I don’t work nights. You think we could do two morning and one night-time rehearsals per week?”

The rest of the discussion was, surprisingly productive. They agreed on the times and days to meet, jokingly debated on what roles and which instruments they’d each be playing, and finally decided to leave the name discussion for another time.

“So are we good for Wednesday morning, then?” Ben asked finally.

Hux frowned. “Actually, I’m headed home on Tuesday night. Eleanor is taking a cruise during Christmas and insisted that I be home for Thanksgiving.”

A chorus of disappointment echoed around the room.

“Hux! Letting us down!”

“Armie! We were gonna do a friendsgiving here on Thursday!”

“Yeah, man, you’d really go home and miss out on my homemade tamales?”

“I’m sorry!” Hux threw his hands up in surrender. “She insisted!”

Ben seemed to be the only one not trying to tease him. “When are you back?”

“Friday at noon, so I’m good for Saturday morning. And that reminds me,” he turned to Phasma, “would you be able to go to my place on Wednesday and Thursday to feed Millie, Phas? She’ll be fine on her own for a bit, I just need someone to fill her bowl on the two full days I’m away.”

Phasma frowned. “I can do Wednesday but not Thursday, my coworker has this one-time gig that day they can’t make and asked me to replace them. And don’t worry,” she said to Rey and Poe who seemed ready to complain, “it will be over by dinner time so I’ll be here.”

“I can do Thursday if Phasma can’t,” Ben said.

“You don’t have to,” Hux responded a little too quickly. As much as he’d like to say it was because he didn’t want to inconvenience Ben, it probably had more to do with the fact he didn’t want Ben in his apartment unsupervised - where he might discover… something. “Harlem is a long way to go just to feed a cat. Since Phas lives on the Lower East Side it’s not too much of a trek for her.” He turned to Phasma. “If you can’t I could probably take Millie with me. Though Eleanor’s new dog might be unhappy.”

“Ah she finally adopted the dog?” Phasma smiled.

“It’s no trouble,” Ben insisted, ignoring Phasma’s question to Hux. “I’ve got some errands to run so I’ll be out and about anyway.”

Hux quirked an eyebrow at him. “Well, if it’s not an issue then I’d appreciate that. My spare key is taped to the inside of my mailbox in the building’s basement. I’ll text you the combination and the address. But be careful with Millicent, she’s either shy or aggressive when meeting someone new.”

Ben crossed his arms, a smug smile spreading across his mouth. “I’m sure Millicent and I will get along just fine.”

Poe clapped his hands and set down his third beer. “So, Saturday morning! Now that it’s settled, we can get down to the  _ real _ business.” He rose, wiped his hands on his sweatpants, and retrieved his guitar from the corner of the room. “Let’s check how rusty we are!”

“Speak about yourselves,” Phasma laughed, “I’m good. I play six nights a week!”

Poe ignored the comment, sitting back down in his armchair and plucking at the strings to test how in tune they were. Once he was satisfied, he cleared his throat. “Anyway, here’s Wonderwall.”

“Nope!” Rey threw a bottle cap at him, hitting him squarely on the forehead. “Next!”

Striking up a different song, Poe hummed the lyrics until the rest of them joined in, laughing at Poe’s increasingly ridiculous song choices (Hux was pretty sure if he could, Poe would have played Sandstorm on the acoustic). Their jam session ended up lasting late into the night, until at some point the downstairs neighbour texted Finn asking if they could please keep it down. 

Maybe, after all, things would work out. Maybe, Hux thought, he had been worried for nothing.

***

Ben was present the moment Hux knew he was going to be a composer. Accidentally, of course; Hux had thought he was alone while feverishly working on the piece of music that would decide his future. 

In their first year at Juilliard, back when students were required to live in dorms and before the Knights’ dingy Brooklyn apartment, Hux and Ben had decided to room together. It was easier than rooming with someone you hadn't met, and despite attending different music schools back home their friendship had only improved since Ben's trial summer camp at First Order. Composing was always something Hux had done as a hobby at First Order despite the school’s focus on performance, and when registration for classes came around that summer he'd thought ‘why not.’ So, during their first semester in college, Hux had enrolled in the composition class that would change his life.

The assignment for one late autumn weekend was an interesting one - write a story and compose the music to accompany it, in the vein of a movie soundtrack or ‘trailer music.’ Hux was never one for creative writing, but on his way home he'd been feverishly weaving a story in his head. He'd even had to stop several times to jot down notes on his phone (it was easy enough on his Blackberry, which were all the rage at the time). 

Without sparing a glance at Ben when he got home, he had set to work writing the story of his fearsome warrior, his Knight: a moment of calm before a fated battle as he took a moment to meditate on his actions and future; followed by the meticulous process of putting on his black armour to prepare; making his way to the battle; and finally the face off with his nemesis. The story ended on a cliffhanger, as the Knight and his enemy regarded each other in a snowy woods, swords drawn, both ready to pounce. Hux had set to work immediately on the music to accompany it like a man possessed - it hadn’t been fun to use Logic Pro without the proper equipment, but he had been determined to get it done even if it meant using computer’s keyboard to play the parts.

He'd worked late into the night until his ears ached from being pressed down against his head for so long by his headphones. The next morning he had woken up early, eaten a granola bar, and went straight back to his desk.

“Arm?” Ben had tapped his shoulder with a worried look. “You alright?”

“Yep,” Hux replied without turning to look at Ben.

“Well, Han is in town for a day so I'm gonna have lunch with him. I'll bring us leftovers.”

Hux had simply grunted acknowledgement and continued work.

That night he'd fallen asleep at his desk and awoke to a dark and empty room. His piece of music was complete, he'd fortunately saved before he passed out, and all that was left was to listen to the finished product. Assuming Ben was still out with his father, Hux had pulled his headphones off his aching ears and pressed play.

It was perfect - it conveyed the personality of his Knight exactly how Hux wanted it to, from the spiritual calm at the beginning, to the increased tension as the Knight prepared for battle, culminating in the tense and eerie staredown between the two warriors at the end. Hux had had to resist the urge to applause his own work.

“Sounds good, boss.”

Hux had almost screamed at the sound of Ben's voice startling him. Ben, who was apparently back and burrowed so deep into his bed covers Hux hadn't even seen him in the dark. Ben, who had just heard the entirety of Hux's masterpiece.

“You liked it?”

“Armie, that was amazing.”

Hux had grinned.

“What are you gonna call it?”

“I don't know, ‘fearsome knight prepares for battle?’ At least, that's the story I'm trying to tell.”

Ben had laughed. “I can just picture the story… you should name it after me. Your first audience.”

“I'm not naming it ‘Ben.’”

“How about my old nickname? ‘Knight Kylo Ren.’”

Though he'd laughed at first, the name stuck; it was thanks to Knight Kylo Ren that Hux knew he would become a composer.

 ***

Hux spent most of his late night bus ride to Boston for Thanksgiving with both his plain and staff paper notepads open on the cheap plastic tray table. He figured if he focused he could have an outline for maybe two songs done for their first real rehearsal, even if the lyrics would be incomplete. It didn’t really matter because Ben could just hum the melody if there weren’t any words ready on Saturday, so Hux focused instead on the music.

Both notebooks remained blank for the entire four-odd-hour drive.

His mother met him in Boston, and though he felt bad for making her drive all the way to pick him up at such a late hour, he was glad for the distraction from his own thoughts. Eleanor chatted away on their way home about the house, how the new dog was doing (a bulldog named Rocky), and an update on all the small town gossip. Thankfully, she knew her son well and didn’t grill him too much on his life - he gave her only the details she would want to hear, and specifically left out the part about the band getting back together. She’d want to know absolutely  _ everything _ about that if he mentioned it, and Hux did  _ not _ want to tell his mother he’d be writing  _ songs _ .

After blissfully collapsing in his adolescent bedroom, sleep eluded Hux - again in the form of his thoughts.

Ben was going to be in his apartment, have free roam around it, on Thursday. Phasma knew not to touch any of his belongings whenever she fed Millicent - she usually brought a book or had a nap in his bed and stole some of his good coffee. And though Ben knew Hux liked his privacy, Ben had always been nosey and liked to snoop around. Hux really should have just brought Millicent home with him. Not that he had much to expose him, and Ben would probably be distracted by Hux’s extensive ‘home recording studio,’ which included his keyboards and mixers among other equipment that he’d amassed over the years. But Hux  _ was _ human, and  _ did _ keep a few memories tucked into a drawer.

There was the tassel from their college graduation, the honours ribbon from First Order Conservatory with four stripes (signifying the highest honour), the playbill from the time the six of them had gotten up before dawn to get student rush tickets to Once. The keepsake Hux was concerned about, however, was the neatly folded program of Ben’s Juilliard senior recital. Or, as Hux referred to it, the night everything changed. He kept the program as a reminder of what he would never have, and that he needed to move forward.

Hux was probably overthinking. Ben either wouldn’t find it, or he wouldn’t think much of it - it was normal for people to keep memories of their best friend’s achievements, wasn’t it? Even if they hadn’t spoken to them in years? 

Instead of sleeping that night, Hux transferred his thoughts and worries onto the pages of his notebooks. He’d tried to avoid it on the bus, but there was really only one muse that drove the songs he wrote as the General.

Ben.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the piece of music hux composes in the ‘flashback’ scene is inspired by/referencing [ Fire Nation by Two Steps From Hell](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BZpbn03kV2U).
> 
> come hit me up on [tumblr](http://bioticnerfherder.tumblr.com/)!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> content warnings for recreational drug use and (as usual) alcohol consumption

Hux’s Thanksgiving at Eleanor’s house turned out satisfyingly productive and he managed to finish most of the two songs he’d started. The lyrics were only half-complete, as was the drum part, but it was enough to present to everyone else for their first rehearsal. Vocals weren’t all that necessary and Rey was always extremely adept in improvising.

The six friends fell into routine as easily as they had back in college. They met up at least three times a week, and their night-time rehearsal was usually prefaced with dinner together - either take-out eaten in Temmin’s basement or food in a nearby restaurant. Temmin Wexley was an extremely friendly host, and though he wasn’t a musician he was always happy to be the first ears to listen to whatever new thing they were working on. And if Hux was being honest with himself, they were sounding good. Very good.

The weekend before Christmas they skipped their usual Sunday night routine; Rey, Finn, Poe, and Phasma were all going away for a few days and they decided they might as well celebrate Christmas with each other early in lieu of rehearsal. Finn, Poe, and Rey were renting a car together to drive back up to Massachusetts while Phasma was flying to England early the next morning to visit her grandparents, so Phasma was determined to keep the rest of them out all night.

Hux didn’t ask Ben what his Christmas plans were - if he wasn’t going up to Massachusetts to spend it with his family, Hux really didn’t want to think about the fact that it would just be the two of them alone in New York.

“You know, next year we really should do a Secret Santa or White Elephant party instead of just going out to a bar,” Rey sighed as they squeezed into a booth.

“But that would just end up with getting each other socks, I hope you realise that,” Phasma replied as she removed her scarf and gloves.

Finn looked offended. “But I love socks!”

“Yeah,” Poe chimed in, “there is absolutely nothing wrong with the gift of socks.”

Hux laughed, shedding his own winter outerwear. “While you’re debating socks, I’ll get the first round. Any special requests?”

It took a minute to reach a decision, but the consensus was to just get some winter ale so “they would be in the holiday spirit,” Poe insisted. Hux made his way to the bar, taking in the unchanged interior decoration of Takodana.

Though he hadn’t been in Maz Kanata’s bar since the last Knights of Ren show, Takodana looked pretty much exactly as it had two and a half years ago. The booths had the same faded upholstery, the different flags behind the bar were in the same arrangement (with a few extras added), and the stage in the corner still looked far too small for more than three people. Maz Kanata, who apparently knew Ben’s father back in the day, was an incredibly small and lively old woman who hosted live music four nights a week in her little Williamsburg bar, which meant Takodana had been the location for most of the Knights of Ren concerts. Maz was kind enough to give them a chance, and even kinder to look the other way at the fact that they were eighteen and nineteen at the time they started the band - she still let them perform, and on the nights they attracted large enough crowds she would even discreetly let her bartenders serve them real drinks instead of mocktails.

Hux felt a little suspicious as to why Ben would suggest coming here for their Christmas drinks, but the others seemed to buy his “for the old days” excuse.

He ordered the six pints of winter ale from the bartender - who, heck, even the bartender was the same old gruff, threatening-looking Grummgar - and precariously threaded his hands through the handles on the glasses. Managing to hold three pints in each hand, Hux edged his way back to their booth.

“Hey, look,” Poe remarked as Hux approached, “Hux finally found a good use for his thin yet creepily long hands.”

“Incredible,” Hux deadpanned, setting down the beers. “Does this mean I get to join the ‘magical fingers’ club?”

“We’ll have to discuss this at committee, won’t we, Phasma?” Poe chuckled.

Phasma nodded while she distributed the beer amongst them. “We’ll get back to you in five to ten business days. Give or take a few for the holidays.”

“Don’t worry salad fingers,” Poe raised his pint glass, “we’ll give good consideration to your application.”

Rey shuddered. “Please don’t remind me of that video, Poe.”

Before anyone could respond to Rey’s comment, they were interrupted by a familiar voice.

“Ben Solo!” Maz Kanata boomed, her voice impossibly loud for such a petite old woman. She rushed over to their booth and placed a hand on Ben’s shoulder, not quite tall enough to ruffle his hair despite the fact that he was seated and she was standing. “Finally come crawling back to the big city, eh? Small town New England wasn’t exciting enough for you?”

“Hey Maz,” Ben smiled awkwardly at her. “Long time no see.”

Maz didn’t miss a beat. “How’s my boyfriend?”

The rest of the table tried to stifle their laughs while Ben flushed with awkwardness. “Chewie is fine. He just doesn’t know how to use the cellphone we gave him.”

“Looks like I’ll have to start sticking to old-fashioned letters then.” Maz laughed once, obviously satisfied with her efforts in embarrassing Ben, letting her gaze drift towards Rey. “Rey Antilles! How are your fathers? I haven’t heard from either of them in ages!”

“They’re fine,” Rey smiled politely. “I’ll see them for Christmas and give them your regards. Finn, Poe, and I are driving up the day after tomorrow.” She gestured at the two men in question.

When Maz took in the rest of the group, her eyes widened with recognition. “Ah! Ben!” She smacked his shoulder once. “You didn’t tell me you kids were getting the band back together!”

Hux’s eyes widened and he exchanged a glance with Phasma.

“Er, yes, we are actually.” Ben smiled shyly, but Hux could tell he was putting on a front - this was the  _ real _ reason he’d wanted to come to Takodana tonight.

Maz smacked Ben’s shoulder again. “Well, you kids  _ have _ to come and do a show here. I’ve had some great bands and performers over the past few years but they’ve never attracted as big a crowd as you used to!”

“With all due respect, Miss Kanata,” Hux interjected, “that was probably because most of the crowd on those days were classmates from college.”

“Nonsense! And Armitage, it’s high time you stopped calling me ‘Miss’ - that makes me feel so old!”

He ignored Rey’s giggle next to him, and apologised immediately. Maz Kanata was not someone you could disobey, and her intense glare was certainly terrifying.

“But in all seriousness, Maz,” Ben said. “We’re not a cover band anymore. We do our own stuff now.”

“Even better!” Maz’s eyes seemed to get impossibly wider and she grinned at the six of them.

Finn coughed. “Well, we’re not, uh, quite performance ready, yet…” He trailed off as soon as Maz’s big eyes turned to him.

Maz just smiled again. “Well, you kids just let me know when you are ready. You’re not getting away from me! And just to show how much I missed you…” she turned towards the bar, signalling something at Grummgar. “Next round is on the house.”

“Now we  _ have _ to perform here, you guys!” Poe grinned and thanked Maz as she headed to another table.

As soon as Maz was out of earshot, the rest of the table turned to Ben. “For the old days, huh Ben?”

Ben rolled his eyes, unashamed. “We have to start somewhere, right?”

***

On the morning of Christmas Eve, Hux’s concentration was broken by his phone vibrating. He frowned down at the name displayed on his screen: Kylo Ren, Ben’s old nickname (and online username), which his number had been saved under since high school.

_ > Kylo Ren [10.37]: any plans tonight? _

Hux sighed, quickly saving his progress before replying.

_ > A. Hux [10.39]: No. Just working on songs. _

__> _ A. Hux [10.39]: Not going home for Christmas, I take it? _

__> _ Kylo Ren [10.40]: nah, i was at home for over two years straight. i need a break from new england lol _

__> _ A. Hux [10.41]: Understandable _

Standing up, Hux crossed the room from his desk/’recording studio’ and threw his phone onto his bed. His bed, the only thing he’d let his father buy for him in years, was a large king-size that was definitely too big for him and Millicent, but it was also the only real luxury he allowed in his apartment - most of his recording equipment was bought used or had taken him months to save up for, and the rest of his furnishings came from garage sales or his mother. His phone sunk easily into the plush covers, and Millicent, the lazy cat she was, rolled over so that her body covered it. She’d somehow figured out that the phone vibrated from time to time and loved to sit on it - Hux guessed it felt like a massage to her.

In any case, it was useful for when he didn’t want to see or hear his phone.

Hux went to his kitchenette and poured himself another cup of coffee from the pot he’d brewed earlier. He placed the mug in the microwave to warm up and watched the timer countdown as he considered what to do next. The last time Hux had been alone with Ben was that fateful cafe meeting weeks ago. Since then, they had only been around each other in the presence of their other friends, and Hux felt like he’d successfully been able to act normal around them. It was only when he was alone and working on their songs that he thought about his feelings for Ben, and if that resulted in a somewhat biased theme in his songs nobody had mentioned it.

He just wasn’t sure he wanted to spend an evening alone with Ben, let alone Christmas Eve.

The microwave chimed it was done, and Hux took his warm-ish coffee back to his desk. Closing out of the new song for their still-unnamed band, he opened up a semi-abandoned project for Starkiller Music to get his mind off things for a little while.

A little while turned into an hour, and then two, and his semi-abandoned project turned into a somewhat fleshed out trailer music style piece. It was nowhere near done, but at least he’d have something to post within a few days - he’d been neglecting Starkiller a bit to focus on the band, and his subscribers were starting to comment on his absence. Hux only stopped working to get up from his desk once the growling in his stomach was too loud to ignore and he had to search his kitchenette for something to eat.

The leftover salad mix in his fridge would go bad soon, so Hux shrugged and tossed it into a bowl with some grape tomatoes and olive oil. Millicent made an appearance, mewling up at him as she put on her best begging face.

“Shh, Millie.” Hux admonished the cat as he munched on his plain salad while leaning against the kitchen counter. “You’ve already eaten this morning. You’ll get dinner in a bit.”

She persisted and after a minute Hux relented, handing her a treat.

“I can’t believe that still works on me,” he chuckled. Millicent wasn’t too recent an addition to Hux’s life - he’d adopted her a few months after graduation - but somehow Hux still fell prey to her whims.

But Millie’s presence in the kitchen meant Hux could hear his phone buzzing amongst his blankets and he rolled his eyes. Taking his salad with him, he went to see what messages would be waiting.

__> _ Kylo Ren [10.42]: yeah _

__> _ Kylo Ren [10.42]: hey if you’re not doing anything tonight we should hang out. i can bring beer and pizza to yours? _

__> _ Kylo Ren [12.59]: hey hux i’m at the store so if you want me to bring beer speak now or forever hold your peace lol _

__> _ Kylo Ren [13.00]: seriously though they’re closing soon and they don’t have much beer (or anything tbh) left _

Hux chewed on a piece of lettuce as he thought about it. His work for Starkiller Music had definitely put him in a better mood, and if Ben was bringing the pizza and beer he’d at least get free dinner. It couldn’t hurt to hang out alone with Ben, right?

__> _ A. Hux [13.02]: Sure. Sorry, I was working on something and had my headphones on. _

__> _ A. Hux [13.02]: Beer and pizza sounds great. Want to come around like 5 or 6? _

Ben arrived at 6.07pm with a six pack of beer in one hand and two pizzas in another.

“If one of those pizzas has pineapple on it you are not allowed to cross the threshold into this apartment,” Hux said as soon as he opened the door.

Ben laugh and brushed past Hux when he opened the door wider. “Relax, I know you hate Hawaiian pizza. One of them is plain cheese and the other is half pepperoni, half vegetable.”

“Then that’s acceptable, I guess,” Hux quipped as he took the pizzas and beer from Ben, freeing his hands to remove his jacket and shoes. “You can hang your jacket in that closet, there should be some spare hangers.”

Millicent immediately made her way to Ben’s feet, swiping at his revealed socks as he tried to put his jacket away.

Hux laughed at the scene - a six foot something bulk of a man struggling to put his coat away when faced with a  _ cat _ \- and headed to the kitchen to put the food down. No way was he going to help Ben out of this one; Millie deserved some fun, and it was pretty amusing to Hux as well.

“I think she remembers you,” he chuckled as he placed the beer in his relatively empty fridge.

“Probably,” Ben said as he tried (and again failed) to get passed her to the closet.

Laughing once more, Hux pulled out a treat to distract her and put Ben out of his misery. He only had to reach for the cupboard where they were stored, and Millicent immediately headed in his direction. Hux knelt down to pet her and feed her the small biscuit.

“Thanks.” Ben chuckled as he finally managed to put his jacket away and make his way into the center of the studio apartment.

The words stopped short in Hux’s throat as he looked up from Millie to respond. Ben was wearing his blue shirt again, on top of some ridiculously tight black jeans. Hux felt almost embarrassed - since he’d been at home all day he was only in sweatpants, a flannel, and a First Order t-shirt (which he was surprised still fit him, but he hadn’t done laundry in a while so he was a little desperate for a clean shirt). At least the clothes he had on were clean and the sweatpants weren’t too baggy since he’d finally put on some weight over the past year and wasn’t as twig-like as he used to be.

Fortunately, Ben hadn’t noticed Hux’s pause and was already going over to his desk area, where he was distracted by Hux’s latest addition to his instrument collection.

“When did you get a ukulele?” Ben laughed. He picked the ukulele up gingerly and plucked the bottom A string a few times. He seemed more amused at its tint than the actual instrument - it was a natural wood, but the colour was so soft it appeared a peachy, pale pink.

“I didn’t, that was pretty much just handed to me. A student of mine got two at his birthday party and decided to give one of them to me as a Christmas present.” Hux stood, wiping his hands on his thighs. “Thanisson is just happy with me because I whipped his performance grade up from a B to an A.”

Ben whistled. “Guess you’re a pretty good teacher then.” He set down the instrument, moving over to Hux’s desk and recording equipment. “I didn’t get the chance to tell you after Thanksgiving but your setup here is pretty sweet.”

“Thanks,” Hux muttered as he made his way over to the desk. “It took a while to collect all of it, but you’ll recognise some of it from college.”

“Yep.” Ben lightly brushed over one of the keyboards and picked up Hux’s headphones. “These are really good quality. I was thinking of getting a pair myself but they’re kinda costly.”

“That was Eleanor’s birthday present this year, actually. No way I could afford those on my own, considering how much of this stuff I had to save up a long time for.”

Ben put the headphones down and smiled at Hux. “That’s cool. How is Eleanor, anyway? I bumped into her a few months ago at the supermarket but we didn’t get a chance to talk. You said she was taking a cruise for Christmas?”

Hux gulped. Eleanor hadn’t mentioned seeing Ben at home.

“She’s fine. She sold a sculpture for a good price back in October and decided to treat herself with a cruise. And she adopted a dog. That she brought with her.”

“Took her dog on a Christmas cruise but not you?” Ben whistled. “Harsh.”

Hux couldn’t help laughing. “Well she offered to bring me along but I can’t really afford to take too many days off work. And I wouldn’t accept if she tried to reimburse me for any extra work days missed.”

“Noble of you,” Ben tilted his head.

“And you? How’s your family?” Hux asked, mainly because he didn’t quite feel like discussing his own family right now.

Ben shrugged and moved away from the desk, stooping to pick up a reappeared Millicent. “Fine. Leia is still in DC most of the time and Han is still constantly travelling around the world, but they keep the house back home for holidays and stuff. I was living pretty much alone at the house. Luke’s still running his school and Wedge still flies for United, though he’s thinking of retiring soon.” Ben scratched Millicent’s head. “He’s a bit tired of flying. Quite literally. Jet lag gets more awful with age.”

“Well, I’m glad they’re all well.”

“Yeah.” Ben buried his nose in Millicent’s fur before putting her down, where she promptly started batting at his socks again. “It was weird being home again, but it  _ was _ nice living rent free right after college,” he joked.

Hux rolled his eyes and sat down in his desk chair. “Ben, you currently live rent free on Rey’s futon right  _ now _ .”

“I actually am giving them a little bit of reimbursement,” Ben huffed. “Or, at least I’m contributing to their house budget. And they’re fine with it, since they still get their space  _ and _ have some extra cash.” He gestured at the bed to ask if he could sit, which he did after Hux nodded. “It’s hard finding your own place when you’ve only got one part-time job.”

Phasma had helped Ben get a job at the jazz bar she worked at, where he sang a few nights a week. Other than that, Hux had no idea what else Ben did (besides band practice and  _ not _ updating his Soundcloud account).

“What were you doing while you were at home?”

Ben lay down, his knees at the edge of the mattress and feet still on the ground, stretching his arms out above him on the bed. “I was working at Luke’s school, actually. Teaching some of the lower level classes. It was… nice. A good break.”

Ben? Teaching? Hux was a bit confused by the image; but then again, Ben did seem to have changed over the past two and a half years.

“I know what you’re thinking,” Ben remarked as he sat back up. “That teaching isn’t exactly my thing. Right?”

Hux raised an eyebrow. “Well, yeah.”

“I thought so too, but Luke… he has an eye for these things. And the patience. I was pretty lost after graduation, and after the lease on our old apartment expired and everyone had a job except me, well… let’s just say just because I finished at Skywalker Sound years ago doesn’t mean Luke ran out of things to teach me. I ended up being pretty good there.”

“So why move back?”

Ben shrugged. “I was getting antsy, and Luke could tell. He knew I wouldn’t stay home forever. Uploading covers on the internet was getting old.” Ben sighed, rubbed his hands over his face, and stood. “Anyway, pizza?”

They fell into easier conversation afterwards, eating pizza on Hux’s floor. Hux had no other table besides the desk (seeing as his bed and work area took up most of his studio apartment), so he set down his wooden tray table that he usually used for his laptop in bed and the two of them sat on his carpet to eat. Hux and Ben ended up chatting, drinking, eating, and batting Millicent away from their food until they lost track of time. Eventually Ben put away the half-pizza that was left over and Hux produced a joint from his bedside drawer, which they shared leaning out the window.

For whatever reason, afterwards Hux and Ben ended up on the floor again, sitting back-to-back and passing Ben’s phone between them to watch vines. Truthfully it was Ben showing off his favourite vines because Hux didn’t even have the app, didn’t understand how funny six second videos could be until he was sat on the floor laughing at them with Ben.

“And, and he just turns the camera over and he just,” Ben wheezed, barely getting out words between his laughing and gasping for breath, “he just says ‘oh my god they were roommates.’”

Spurred on by the feeling of Ben’s booming laughter vibrating against his back, Hux was also in hysterics, so much so that his stomach was starting to hurt.

“I don’t understand why it’s so funny but it is!” Hux managed to get out between chuckles.

“Me neither!”

It took a few moments to get back to themselves; the fact they still had beer in their bellies and had shared a joint not too long ago definitely wasn’t helping.

“Oh my goodness,” Hux huffed, wiping a tear from his eye. “I can’t remember the last time I laughed like that. And honestly, it wasn’t even that funny.”

“Yet you still split your sides over it.” Ben teased before he let out a sigh. “I should probably get going I guess.”

Hux made a noise of agreement, but neither of them moved. He glanced up at the clock on his bedside table and his eyebrows shot up. “Jesus, it’s almost half-past two!”

Ben shrugged. Hux felt the movement instead of seeing it. “Yeah, so I should probably get out of your hair so you can sleep.” He stood up and Hux’s back was immediately cold.

Hux stood up and followed Ben when he started making his way across the room to retrieve his jacket.

“Ben, don’t be ridiculous. At this time? It’ll take you at least two hours to get to Bushwick. Probably more, since it’s technically Christmas Day.”

“So?” Ben was already opening the closet.

“So? You’d get back to Rey’s super late. You can just stay here.”

The words were out of Hux’s mouth before he could stop them.

Ben turned with a surprised look in his eyes. “Hux, it’s really fine, I don’t want to bother you. I had fun, though.”

As Ben made to turn back to the closet, Hux grabbed his forearm to stop the movement. “No, seriously, what kind of friend would I be if I let you loose on the streets at this time and in this state?”

“Hux,” Ben laughed, “I’ve managed to get home while cross-faded many times before.”

Hux wrinkled his nose - he really disliked that description. “Ben, come on. It’s not like there’s anyone at Rey, Poe, and Finn’s place right now, you might as well just crash here.”

Ben eyed him. “Are you sure?”

“Positive,” Hux said before he could change his own mind. He stepped around Ben and retrieved a pajama set that Eleanor had given him but he’d never worn; it was, at least, clean, and would probably fit Ben. A little snug, but it would be fine.

“Thanks.” Ben looked at Hux with a strange expression, a cross between a smirk and a sad smile, as he accepted the pajamas.

Hux nodded and left Ben as he retrieved his spare comforter from his one other closet. He made a point of  _ not _ looking at Ben changing while he took a pillow from the bed and dropped the blanket and pillow on the floor. Hux then quickly escaped to the bathroom to change and brush his teeth, setting out an extra toothbrush out for Ben.

“Nope, no, absolutely not,” Hux protested as soon as he exited the bathroom. “You are  _ not _ sleeping on the floor.”

Ben looked up at him in confusion from where he was arranging the pillow and comforter on the floor. “I’m not kicking you out of your own bed, Hux. This is fine.”

“No, you’ve been sleeping on a futon for the past two months and I am your host. Up, get on the bed. And I left a new toothbrush for you on the sink.”

Ben inclined his head, looking as if he either wanted to protest or laugh, but in the end he simply followed Hux’s instructions. If there was one thing Hux was good at, it was giving orders - it was probably why his friends made him pseudo-manager of the Knights of Ren back in the day, and it was definitely what made him a good tutor. Nobody had the heart to disobey Hux when he used his authoritative tone.

“Thanks, Hux.”

Hux nodded once and went to the kitchenette to pour two glasses of water for them while the other man went to the bathroom.

“You don’t have to sleep on the floor, you know,” Ben said after emerging from the bathroom and eyeing the bed.

Hux was well aware that his bed was definitely big enough for the both of them. He just didn’t trust his body enough to not try and cuddle Ben in the night. Or worse: wake up with a special surprise for him.

“It’s fine,” he managed to say instead. “Besides, Millie likes the bed so she’ll probably sleep on your face instead of mine for once.”

“Alright,” Ben chuckled. “Then I’m glad to have relieved you of suffocating under your cat for a night.”

Ben settled into Hux’s bed like he belonged there, and Hux had to swallow around the lump in his throat. He quickly shut off the lights and settled into the comforter on the floor.

“Oof, you were right,” Ben’s muffled voice came almost immediately after Hux had lain down. “Millicent feels a lot heavier when she’s sitting on your face rather than your lap.”

“Good night, Ben,” Hux said around a laugh.

“Good night, Hux. Merry Christmas.”

***

The first time Ben had ever slept over at Hux’s place was, incidentally, the first time Hux ever smoked.

The fall of junior year of high school had Hux dealing with not one, but  _ two _ betrayals: Finn had just transferred to Skywalker Sound, unhappy with First Order, while Ben had decided not to enroll in First Order after attending their summer camp. Hux was down to one friend (Phasma) and was practicing his performance pieces with far more vigor than he ever had (mainly driven by spite).

The text from Kylo Ren one Friday evening had been unexpected, to say the least.

Hux had gone out to his backyard with half a mind to call the cops and report Kylo for trespassing, while the other half of him had the intention of giving the brat the earful he deserved for his betrayal. But instead he’d been greeted by a very calm looking Ben with an apology on his lips.

“Okay, Kylo,” were the first words out of Hux's mouth (not ‘hi’). “What is this?”

Ben had visibly winced. “Don't call me that anymore. It was a fun nickname but I prefer to be called Ben now. At least in real life.”

“Okay... Ben…” he’d paused, testing out the name on his tongue. “What is this?”

“An apology. I know you're disappointed that I didn't enroll in First Order after all the shit we went through at camp, but that doesn't mean we can't be friends. I had my reasons for going back to my uncle's school.” He'd remained silent for a long, pensive moment before speaking again. “And anyway I've brought a peace offering to prove my point.”

Ben had then pulled the joint out of a tin in his pocket, offering to share it (and, really, Hux should have expected it - he’d had his suspicions that the Skywalker Sound kids were really just hippies since the time he’d run into Poe Dameron at the mall and caught a whiff of him).

Normally, Hux would have been appalled; at the time, he had yet to try substances of any kind. If it had been anyone else, Hux would have gone back into his house and called Eleanor to come home from her dinner date so that she could call up whomever’s parents to report it. But this was Ben, someone who Hux had begrudgingly come to trust and rely on during the summer. They’d spent many nights at camp up late together, Hux helping Ben with Professor Tarkin’s ludicrously long theory homework and Ben teaching Hux the parts to the songs Choirmaster Jerjerrod had selected for summer chorus. If Ben was offering to share the joint with Hux, it meant it was safe to smoke, right?

Even back then Hux couldn't ever tell him no.

They’d sat on a rock at the edge of the garden bordering the woods, since most houses in their town had open backyards. They had smoked and sat out there, Ben not laughing whenever Hux had to cough at the smoke until his throat was raw. When Hux had received the ‘on my way home’ text from Eleanor, he and Ben had headed up to Hux’s room and stayed up watching  _ South Park _ until two in the morning (with a few midnight snack breaks, of course).

It quickly became a little bit of a tradition for them.

***

Rey stood in front of the apartment door, arms locked on either side, to bar anyone from leaving the flat.

“Nope. Nuh-uh. Nobody leaves until we have a name.”

Behind Hux, Poe groaned, Finn rolled his eyes, and Phasma simply chuckled in the background.

“Well, that’s fine with me,” Hux shrugged and started back towards his friends’ living room. “I didn’t really want to go out for New Year’s Eve anyway. We can just hang out here.”

“Hux you don’t  _ understand _ !” Poe shouted after him. “Finn and I haven’t done a booze run so we have literally no beer or champagne for tonight!”

“As if you would buy champagne, ever,” Phasma retorted.

“Hey,” Poe pouted, “for tonight I would!”

“Yeah, the cheap $12 kind.” Finn muttered under his breath.

Poe whirled around to face him. “Et tu, Finn?”

Ben chose that moment to emerge from the bathroom. “I thought I was meeting you guys downstairs?”

Hux had already settled back onto an armchair in the living room, but his friends were too loud to miss. “You didn’t hear the news? No one is leaving this apartment, ever.”

“I didn’t say that!” Rey protested from down the hall. “I just said we need to decide on a name. Now. I’m not starting a new year unless we have a name for the band.”

“Wow, Rey,” Ben deadpanned, “I didn’t know you could stop time.”

Hux rolled his eyes as his friends continued arguing in the hallway, only getting up to help himself to the bag of chips left on the kitchen counter.

“Hux! Why aren’t you taking this seriously?!”

“Because you’re not going to get anything done if you’re standing around the door arguing like that, and because I’d rather stay in for New Year’s.”

Poe poked his head around the living room doorway. “You’re such a spoilsport. You know that?”

“He has a point,” Ben sighed and edged around Poe’s head to enter the living room. He sighed again when he collapsed onto the couch.

Phasma followed not far behind, flopping down into an armchair. “I agree. Rey, your protest was bound to fail.”

Finn also gave up and sat down on the futon next to Ben.

“Okay,” Poe’s head disappeared to try reasoning with Rey. “Now that they’ve apparently decided we’re not going out, can I  _ please _ go and get us some libations for tonight and we can stay in to talk about this?”

A pause, and then Rey agreed. Poe rushed out of the apartment immediately as Rey made her way to the living room.

“Alright but none of you are off the hook. We have to decide and we have to decide  _ tonight _ .”

By the time Poe returned, a bag of two bottles of cheap champagne in one hand and a bag of some hard liquor in another, they were still arguing.

“So what’d I miss?” Poe asked from the kitchen, putting the two champagne bottles in the freezer and taking a bottle of tequila with him to the living room.

“Literally nothing,” Rey sulked.

“Nothing?” Poe raised an eyebrow as he set down the bottle on the coffee table and retreated to the kitchen again.

Hux stood, following Poe to the kitchen to help with whatever he was doing.

“We had a few dumb suggestions,” Ben called after them.

“Hey, they weren’t dumb!” Finn exclaimed.

Phasma sighed. “Yes, they were. New Republic? That sounds like a school. We are  _ not _ a school.”

“And my other suggestion?”

“The Resistance?” Ben grimaced. “We’re not a pop punk band.”

“And we’re not a Muse album either!” Poe yelled in the living room’s direction. He shoved a few mismatched shot glasses into Hux’s hands and shooed him away while he himself retrieved some limes from the fridge. Hux left the kitchen to set the glasses down on the coffee table, taking the liberty to open the tequila and pour out shots.

“We could go for something from our childhoods. Hey, what about dog names! How about BB?”

“Poe,” Finn rolled his eyes with frustration. “As much as I love your family dog, absolutely no one is obsessed with him like you are.”

He was right. Poe’s social media handle had been the same since he was in middle school:  _ beebeeatemyhwk _ .

Emerging from the kitchen with one hand full of thick lime wedges and the other holding another bag of chips, Poe frowned at Finn.

“BB is an angel and the light of my life.”

“Yeah, we know,” Rey chuckled.

The six of them paused to do the first few shots of the night. Eventually Poe grabbed his guitar and started strumming some random chords from his seat on the floor.

“If we are taking inspiration from childhood,” Rey said around a post-tequila grimace, “Ben, what was your uh, what did your dad used to call his old Ford trimotor?”

Ben frowned sourly. “That flying death machine?” Rey nodded. "The Millennium Falcon?”

Rey slapped the floor. “Yep, that’s it!”

“That’s garbage,” Finn frowned.

“We have heard no other good suggestions from you, Mister Finn Nathans.” Poe retorted, not looking up from his guitar.

“It is kind of lame,” Phasma added and Hux hummed his agreement.

“Okay, but how about this.” Rey paused for dramatic effect, making sure everyone was paying attention. “The  _ Millennial _ Falcon. Get it? Because we’re millennials!”

Everyone looked at Rey with a dumbfounded expression for a solid minute. Even Poe stopped playing guitar.

“What the actual fuck, Rey?” Phasma found her voice first.

“Yes, it’s lame, but at least it’s lame on purpose!”

Ben cleared his throat to break the silence that had settled over them. “It’s actually… not bad?” Phasma, Finn, Poe, and Hux turned their questioning expressions towards Ben while Rey smirked triumphantly. “What?” Ben shrugged. “It’s lame, but like Rey said, it’s lame on purpose. I think it’s funny.”

After another moment of silence, Hux sighed. “Well, two people agreeing on a name is as far as we’ve gotten tonight.”

“Is that you throwing in your vote too, Hux?” Rey beamed.

Hux poured himself another shot and downed it without a lime. “Begrudgingly, yes.”

Finn sighed, and copied Hux’s actions. “Same, I guess,” he said as he set the shot glass down again.

Rey and Ben didn’t have much time to gloat victoriously, however; Poe soon started playing his guitar again and between singing along and taking shots, there wasn’t any more debate over their new band name. At some point Finn opened YouTube to put on a recording of the Vienna Philharmonic’s traditional New Year’s Eve concert, complete with Rey and Poe and Phasma trying to waltz to  _ The Blue Danube _ around the coffee table (playing music was their strong suit - dancing, not so much) and Hux making sure everyone clapped along appropriately to the  _ Radetzky March _ . Someone keeping an eye on the time diligently shouted they were about to miss the countdown (Hux wasn’t quite sure who was saying what at this point over all the noise they were making - was it Ben?) and Hux rushed to bring out the bottles of champagne just in time.

After the six of them yelled the countdown at each other and struggled to pop open the champagne right at midnight, Rey raised her glass to toast.

“To the Millennial Falcon!” she shrieked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for your listening pleasure: Vienna Philharmonic Orchestra’s [NYE concert in 1987](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XtSfPZj8QCU) (fun fact: growing up my mother had a recording of that particular concert and played it every year for new year’s eve, so it has become essential listening for me annually)
> 
> and yes, their name is lame but i thought of it in a sleep-deprived state and thought it was hilarious. anyway, come hit me up on [tumblr](http://bioticnerfherder.tumblr.com/)!


	4. Chapter 4

Although he wouldn’t realise it for another two years, Armitage Hux could pinpoint the exact moment he had fallen in love with Ben Organa-Solo.

The late February night had seen the six of them snowed in in their Bushwick apartment. Poe was a few months away from turning 21 (with Phasma not too far behind), so he’d been using his fake ID to buy liquor with renewed fervor - he wouldn’t be needing it for very much longer and wanted to “squeeze as much use as I can out of if for the amount I paid,” but as a result their meager kitchen had ended up containing more booze than actual food. That night Rey had used an entire bottle of honey whiskey to brew a large pot of hot toddies (insisting it was a much better winter drink than hot cocoa) and for whatever reason the six of them had been crowded into Hux and Ben’s tiny bedroom instead of their perfectly useable living room.

“I will never hear an album more beautiful than this one,” Rey had sobbed, having downed one too many hot toddies and put on Adele’s then-new album  _ 21 _ .

Phasma and Finn had made an effort at agreeing, but their half-asleep-drunken state had diminished the emotion behind it somewhat. Poe, who was always the best at holding his liquor, had had to drag Finn and Rey back to their room (the master bedroom with ensuite bath, easily big enough to fit the three of them) and somehow coaxed Phasma into retreating to her own room (which was more of a glorified walk-in closet their landlord had hastily added to the living room, but Phasma had claimed it immediately as her own space). But Poe had forgotten to take Rey’s laptop with him, leaving Hux and Ben laying on the floor, drunkenly listening to Adele on loop.

“In all honesty,” Hux had slurred after a while, “I think  _ 19 _ is a better album.”

Ben had turned his head over in Hux’s direction with a loopy smile on his face like he was trying to laugh, but too tired to do so. “Yeah?”

“Mhmm. Bob Dylan is a genius but Adele’s version of  _ Make You Feel My Love _ is a masterpiece.”

Ben  _ had _ managed to laugh then, a small giggle. Hux was about to defend his choice when Ben started singing it softly, clashing slightly with  _ Someone Like You _ in the background. It had taken Hux a full minute to close Rey’s laptop so that he could hear Ben properly.

It wasn’t like Hux had never heard Ben singing before - the Knights of Ren had been performing covers for a year by that point and Ben constantly practiced his performance pieces for school at home, in their shared bedroom or in the shower. Before that, during First Order summer camp years ago, Ben had performed slower pieces so it wasn’t like Hux didn’t  _ know _ Ben could sing ballads. There was just something different about the way he sung  _ this _ song.

They were both quiet for a few minutes after Ben had finished.

“That was beautiful,” Hux had murmured. And, because he was still drunk, he added, “if I ever get married I want to dance to that at my wedding.”

The response he’d gotten from Ben was a soft snore, so Hux had simply crawled into his twin-size bed, drank a little from the bottle of water he kept on the windowsill, and fell asleep.

***

The second week of January was always the same on the East Coast: cold, wet, and utterly miserable. For Hux, it had the added ‘benefit’ of hosting his birthday. His past two birthdays had been spent curled up with Millicent in his apartment - watching Netflix and consuming whatever baked goods his mother had had delivered to his apartment - but because he’d moved around his shifts around to accommodate the Millennial Falcon’s rehearsals, Hux ended up having to work on the night of his birthday. 

His shift that night wasn’t all that unpleasant - the middle of the week had fewer crowds and the coworker on shift with him tonight was one he got along with fairly well. Coruscant was fancier than the bars Hux and his friends frequented themselves but he counted himself lucky to have gotten the job here in the first place; the small Chelsea bar was a newer establishment and the director did briefly mention a past connection to Brendol when Hux was applying for the job (it  _ was _ a small world, after all).

“At least it’s not snowing tonight,” Dopheld Mitaka commented, returning from his ten minute break.

“But when it snows, there are even fewer customers on a Wednesday night.” Hux murmured as he set down the cocktail shaker in his hands.

It wasn’t like there were many, anyway; there were probably only five people sat at the bar with plenty of room to spare, and enough tables were free so that no one had to stand around. On the weekends, Coruscant tended to get so crowded that Hux seriously doubted they were sticking to the occupancy limit of the building.

Hux finished the drink he was preparing and handed it to the customer, making a note on her tab and going to clean out the shaker in the sink. He and Mitaka remained in companionable silence over the next few minutes, each doing tasks at a leisurely pace. There was no need to hurry tonight. Hux even found himself enjoying the soft music and background noise of conversations; this wasn’t too bad a way to spend his birthday, even if he would prefer tucking into the red velvet cake his mother had bought that was waiting for him at home.

“Got any fun plans for the weekend, Doph?” Hux asked, simply trying to make small talk as he wiped a few glasses.

“Not really. This weekend is my weekend off so I might go to a show or something. My partner wants to go ice skating but in reality we’ll probably end up staying in bed watching something.” Mitaka shrugged. “It’s cold as balls.”

Hux opened his mouth to reply but stopped short when he spotted a familiar group of people by the entrance. He almost dropped a whiskey tumbler.

_ Oh shit. _

Hux tried to make himself look busy with the glasses in front of him.

“There he is! The birthday boy!”

It took all of Hux’s willpower to not collapse with embarrassment at the sound of Rey’s voice.

Hux looked up at his friends, trying to smile but coming out with more of a grimace. “Hey, guys. What on Earth are you doing here?”

“We knew you’d be working tonight instead of moping at home so we figured we’d keep you company!” Poe said a little too enthusiastically for the mellow mood in the bar. He tried to reach over and ruffle Hux’s hair but Hux batted him away with the dish rag. “Hey guys, I didn’t know we were friends with a sunburnt penguin!”

Hux rolled his eyes and self-consciously looked down at his outfit. The dress code at Coruscant was semi-casual for the customers, but the director made sure all his employees were well-dressed: bartenders were required to wear black pants, white button-up shirts, black tie, and deep burgundy vests. Shiny polyester ones, in fact (that in the dark didn’t look as cheap as they were), but tonight Hux’s was at the dry cleaner so he was mercifully wearing a plain cotton one. Work was also the only time Hux bothered to style his hair anymore.

“Shut up, Poe,” Rey laughed as she jostled Poe’s shoulder a bit.

“Yeah, at least Hux cleans up well!” Finn remarked as he came up on Poe’s other side.

“Hey! I think I look pretty good tonight!”

Raising an eyebrow in amusement, Hux took in his friends’ attire. They had all somewhat gone with the dress code, their winter jackets clutched in their hands; Phasma wore a red dress despite the cold weather, Rey was in a dark blue romper, and Finn, Poe, and Ben were all in button-up shirts.

“Absolutely dashing, Poe,” Hux joked as he finally started putting the glasses on the counter away. “What should I get for you guys?”

“Nonsense,” Phasma shook her head. “You’re not going to serve us on your birthday.”

Finn nodded. “We’re here to keep you entertained for the rest of your shift.”

“As fun as that sounds, I don’t think my boss would like that.”

“Then get us a round of whatever’s on tap so we can look like we’re just regular customers.” Poe produced his wallet from a pocket. “First round is on me, guys. Unkar finally gave me my end of year bonus check.”

After handing out the beer, Hux managed to convince his friends to wait at an empty table in the corner by lying about having a break soon. They left him with a “you know where we’ll be waiting!”

Well. All of them left him alone at the bar except for Ben, who hung back with an apologetic smile.

They’d been spending a lot more time together since Christmas. It was easier than anticipated to return to the same old behaviours and hang out spots as in college, and when they were together it was easy for Hux to forget why he’d pushed him away in the first place; but returning home alone always reminded him. As a result, whenever Ben crashed at Hux’s apartment, Hux was always adamant about sleeping on the floor.

His neck was starting to ache from sleeping on the floor, seeing as Ben had stayed over several times now.

“Hux,” Mitaka approached him before Ben could break the silence between the two of them. “It’s your birthday?”

“Unfortunately, yes.”

“You didn’t tell me? Happy birthday, you goon.” Mitaka smiled before going back to his task.

“Thanks, Doph,” Hux sniggered.

“You know the rest of them are gonna be pissed when they realise you don’t actually have a break?” Ben asked, seeming entertained by all this.

Hux sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “And how did you know I was lying about having a break?”

Ben shrugged. “I figured. And for the record, I did tell them you wouldn’t like us interrupting you at work. They told me to come along or to fuck off, because, and I quote Phasma here, ‘we haven’t been able to get his sorry ass out of his apartment on his birthday for years.’”

Hux rolled his eyes. “I appreciate the effort. But in all honesty I’ve got a cake waiting for me at home that I’d much rather feast on than staying out after my shift.”

“Eleanor still orders cakes for you on your birthday?” Ben raised an amused eyebrow at him.

“Yes, and it’s  _ not _ weird.”

Ben laughed. “What kind?”

“Red velvet,” Hux said smugly.

“How appropriate. Can I get in on this cake consumption?”

It was Hux’s turn to laugh. “Sure, but I’m still here for a little while.”

“I don’t mi-”

“Hello, Hux,” a voice interrupted Ben.

Surprised, both Ben and Hux turned to look at the newcomer, and Hux wanted to die right there.

Bazine Netal was a striking woman. Tonight, she wore a tight black-and-white romper and black lipstick with her dramatic eye makeup and close-cropped hair, as well as her usual sheer armour of confidence. Though Hux wasn’t into women, he could certainly acknowledge that she  _ was _ very attractive. Her current expression could be described as downright predatory, but only because Hux knew she was cunning enough to be the only person who could out-scheme Phasma in anything. And, she was one of the only people who knew about the General.

“Hello Bazine,” Hux managed to say. He was slightly annoyed, seeing as she’d just interrupted his... conversation with Ben (was it a conversation? It definitely  _ wasn’t _ flirting. Ben was  _ not _ flirting with him). “How are you?”

Bazine slid into the seat in front of him at the bar, leaning forward slightly so she was directly interrupting his line of sight at Ben. “You can skip the pleasantries, Hux. And before you ask, no I did not come here expecting to find you. I actually had no idea you worked here, this is a pleasant surprise for me.” She laughed, then tapped her nails against the bar a few times before continuing. “You haven’t responded to my emails.”

Hux glanced at Ben over Bazine, who shrugged and pointed towards the table where the others were sat. He looked a bit confused and obviously wanted out of this situation. Hux sighed and as soon as he reluctantly nodded, Ben retreated to their friends.

“What do you want, Bazine?”

“I need more songs.”

Casting a glance over his shoulder at Mitaka (who thankfully seemed to have disappeared), Hux scowled at Bazine. “You can’t ask me that in public.”

“Hux. Who cares? No one is listening. So I might as well, because you’ve been out of reach for weeks.”

Bazine worked freelance, odd jobs here and there. They’d first met at First Order, where Bazine had done a few weeks as an exchange student. She did several of these exchange programs with different schools, and as a result had an extensive network of connections - she was well acquainted with many independent artists and it was through her that Hux had been able to sell any demos as the General while maintaining his anonymity.

“Fine.” Hux sighed. “I’m sorry I’ve been off the grid, I’ve been working on a personal project.”

“If you’re not writing songs and not uploading constantly on Starkiller, what the hell is this mysterious project?” Bazine continued to drum her nails on the surface of the bar. “‘Oil and Water’ is still getting airplay and a lot of people have been asking around for new demos from the General.”

“I told you,” Hux said defensively, “I’m working on a personal project. I’m not working on new demos.”

Bazine stopped her hands, looking surprised for a minute. “You have nothing? Nothing at all?”

“Well…” Hux hesitated. He had more demos than he’d ever written before, but they were for the Millennial Falcon - he couldn’t sell them to Bazine’s clients. “Anything I have is  _ for _ this personal project. That’s why I haven’t responded to your emails, Bazine. I don’t have anything for you.”

She chewed over his words for a minute before smirking at him. “You’re finally using your demos for yourself, aren’t you?”

“Maybe.”

“Hux, about time!” She reached over the bar to playfully punch his shoulder. “About damn time you attached your own name to your songs.”

“Right, well,” Hux inched his way backwards, further away from the bar and closer to the relative safety of the liquor shelf behind him. “There’s your explanation.”

Bazine’s next words were interrupted by a loud voice calling his name from somewhere down the hall.

“Armitage!”

She cast a glance over his shoulder and said in a rush, “good luck with your project, General, but if you have an extra demo you want to sell, you tell me  _ immediately _ .” And with that, she was gone.

The voice called his name again, closer this time.

Hux took a deep breath and turned and tried to put on his best smile for his boss. “Yes, Mister Krennic?”

Orson Krennic, director of Coruscant, commanded an incredible presence. He was  _ always _ dressed impeccably, always wearing a white shirt and white blazer with a red and blue patterned pocket square, and Hux had been tempted many times to ask him how the hell he kept his apparel so briskly clean.

“Dopheld says it’s your birthday, my boy! How old are you?”

“Twenty five, sir.”

Krennic clasped his hands together in delight. “A good age. Why don’t you take the rest of the night off, Armitage?”

Hux was taken aback. “I’ve got another two -”

“Yes, yes,” Krennic dismissed Hux’s protest. “Another two hours on your shift, yes. But we’ve not got a big crowd tonight, and Dopheld already said he can take care of the bar on his own for the rest of the night. So,” Krennic smiled at him. “Enjoy your birthday, my boy.”

And with that, the director left a surprised Hux and a smug Mitaka alone behind the bar.

“You’re welcome,” Mitaka said.

“I’m going to get you back for this,” he pointed at Mitaka’s chest, and then smiled. “But thanks for asking him. You sure you’ll be fine?”

“Go,” Mitaka shooed Hux away. “Go enjoy your birthday with your friends. I’ve got this.”

“Thanks, Doph,” Hux repeated as he left his coworker behind the bar. He went to the staff bathroom to wash his hands, making sure there was no syrup left from making cocktails earlier, and loosened his tie slightly. Leaving the vest on but unbuttoned, Hux made his way towards the front of the bar and the seating area.

“Here he is! The birthday boy!”

Phasma gave him a kiss on each cheek as he settled into the seat beside her, while Rey reached out across the table to squeeze his hand.

“Say, Hux, what cocktail is your coworker best at making? I’m feeling kind of fancy tonight,” Phasma grinned.

“Mitaka is good with everything, just order whatever you feel like,” Hux sighed. He would stay out for another hour and then escape to his apartment. Maybe earlier if some of his friends wanted to come home with him for cake, like Ben.

Who was actually sat across from Hux, his eyebrows furrowed. Once he noticed Hux’s gaze on him, Ben quirked his head towards the bar and mouthed ‘what was that’ at Hux. He simply shook his head in response, mouthing ‘tell you later’ back at him.

Phasma left them to order a cocktail for her and Poe at the bar, while Finn and Rey roped Hux into their age-old argument over whether the piano should be considered a string or percussive instrument. Finn was wrong, according to centuries of musical education, but that didn’t mean he would stop trying to convince them - it was a short debate that had happened every few months since sophomore year of college, but only when Phasma was not in earshot (Rey had made the mistake of asking her once and received an hourlong lecture about the piano). They abandoned the subject when Finn spotted Phasma making her way back to them.

“Armie!” She said before she’d hardly sat back down. “You won’t  _ believe _ who I saw at a table over there. Fucking Bazine Netal!”

Hux really hoped his face hadn’t paled.

“We should go say hi! Lords, I haven’t seen her since she did that exchange at First Order our senior year! Come on,” she started to get up, holding onto Hux’s bicep to pull him with her.

“No!” Hux exclaimed, a little too loudly and a little too quickly; all of his friends threw him a confused look. But he definitely could not have Phasma interacting with Bazine - he could  _ not _ risk Phasma finding out about the General. “Er, no,” he repeated, a little softer once Phasma had sat back down properly. “She ordered a drink from me earlier, didn’t even recognise me. Probably doesn’t remember us,” he shrugged.

It was a good a save as any, and Phasma nodded in agreement. Everyone moved onto the next topic, their upcoming show at Takodana, except Ben who shot Hux a ‘what the fuck’ look before tuning into the conversation. Ben had heard Bazine greeting Hux by name, so Hux would probably have to explain later. It didn’t matter, Ben knew about the General so he could know. Just… no one else could. Not right now.

Hux made his excuses after an hour, extending the invitation of cake to all his friends, but he ended up going home alone. As he indulged in an overly large slice of red velvet cake in bed, Millicent purring by his thigh and Cutthroat Kitchen playing on his laptop, Hux wondered if Ben was alright. Surely, something had happened to change his mind? Otherwise he’d be here, eating cake with Hux. And Hux would have probably had to sleep on the floor again.

Maybe it was for the best that Ben didn’t come over. Hux was getting in too deep.

Again.

***

“Hey, Hux, can I ask you a favour?”

Hux turned to look over at Finn, clouds of breath visibly puffing out of their mouths in the dark as they walked along the cold street.

“What’s up?”

For whatever reason, Finn and Hux had pulled the short straws and were making their way to Takodana on foot, Finn’s guitar and Ben’s bass slung on their backs. Maz had a drum kit, speakers, an amp or two, and a microphone, but everything else they had to lug all the way to Williamsburg themselves. Rey, Phasma, and Poe had piled into an Uber with their keyboard, amps, extra leads, spare microphones, and Poe’s guitar, while Ben had “some errands to run” and was waiting for them at Takodana. Fortunately, Finn, Ben, and Poe kept their guitars at home so the distance wasn’t too far to walk - Phasma’s keyboard, as well as their amps and microphone (and Rey’s electronic drum kit) were stored in Temmin’s basement to avoid lugging them back and forth for rehearsal. Finn and Hux would probably get to Takodana before everyone else.

“It’s uh, you can uh, say no also if you want, I just figured I’d ask.” Finn was hesitating suddenly.

“Finn,” Hux tried his best to sound reassuring, “you can ask. It’s alright.”

They crossed a street in silence before Finn spoke up again.

“So, I’ve been thinking. Between this whole thing with you guys and tutoring Korrie, I realised I really fucking miss playing music.” He paused for a few moments until they crossed another street the block over. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad for my job at the store. I love seeing the look on kids’ faces when they get their first guitar or whatever. But I miss how playing music used to be my entire life.”

Hux furrowed his eyebrows. “So, what do you want me to do?”

“I miss my violin. Once a week with Korrie feels like it’s not enough for me.”

“Do you want to start a string duo?” Hux laughed. “We can perform in Union Square or Central Park.”

Finn managed a smile at that. “Maybe in the future. I was actually thinking of dialing down my shifts at the Finalizer to part-time and trying to audition for the Brooklyn Symphony.”

Hux stopped walking and grabbed his friend’s forearm. “Finn, that’s awesome!”

“You think so?” Finn grinned at him.

“Yes!” Hux let go of Finn’s arm and they resumed walking. “If that’s what you want to do, and you think you can do it, go for it!”

“That’s the problem,” Finn frowned. “It’s been almost three years since graduation and I haven’t been practising as much as I should’ve. I’m worried I’m a little rusty.”

Hux scoffed. “Nonsense, Finn. You were the best violinist at First Order and you were one of the finest at Juilliard.” Hux made a face at him. “Though I can’t say I know how well you did at Skywalker Sound, traitor.”

Finn stuck his tongue out at him. “I was the best there too, I’ll have you know!”

“Then why are you worried?”

“I’m not so much worried as just… wanting someone to listen to me practice. Someone who knows what it should sound like and can help correct me.”

It finally clicked in Hux’s head. “You want me to help you practice. Kind-of tutor you.”

Finn nodded. “Kinda? Like, also just someone to play with. Maybe more like your string duo suggestion,” Finn laughed. “But only if you can, if you have time.”

“Yeah! Yeah, of course! We could probably meet before rehearsals or stay after. How’s that sound?”

“I really appreciate it, man,” Finn shot him a smile. “I’m sorry to make you drag your cello all the way out to Bay Ridge.”

Hux laughed; he hadn’t thought of that. “Well, you can repay me by buying me dinner once in awhile.”

“Deal,” Finn grinned and held his hand out.

They shook hands and chatted logistics for the rest of the walk to Maz’s. Ben was there waiting for them, as promised, and he seemed in more of a good mood than he had been in the past few days. Ben had been strangely quiet in the week since Hux’s birthday - so much so that Hux had been starting to worry Ben was feeling sick and just wasn’t saying or showing anything because he didn’t want to worry his friends, but he seemed just fine tonight. And although Hux and Finn had arrived there early, with Poe, Phasma, and Rey not too far behind, there was already a fair amount of people gathering in the bar by the time they started setting up onstage.

Despite the slush and snow and cold that lined the streets outside, it didn’t seem to deter the crowds who’d shown up at Takodana to kickstart their weekends. Hux was nervous - although their songs were  _ thematically _ similar to the General’s demos (which were usually received well), the  _ sound _ of the Millennial Falcon was vastly different. It was more upbeat and relied more on real instruments instead of synthesizers (though Phasma  _ did _ sometimes use different effects on her keyboard and Poe had his modulator pedal).

Grummgar had ‘reserved’ their usual booth by leaving several glasses and a large pitcher of punch that Hux helped himself to after they’d finished setting up and were ready to start.

“Hey everyone,” Poe spoke into his microphone. Even though Ben was their lead singer, Poe or sometimes Rey always introduced them - for whatever reason Ben hated talking to the audience. “Glad you could make it out tonight. We are the Millennial Falcon and we’ve got a few songs we’d like to play for you! Hope you enjoy!”

Rey counted them in, and Hux whispered a small prayer to himself as they began to play. He closed his eyes as he listened, sipping occasionally at the punch Grummgar had provided. It wasn’t until the first song was over that he allowed himself to watch his friends onstage; if the reaction of the crowd was anything to go by, their music was being received well.

After the second song, Hux allowed himself to smile. The set was going much better than Hux had expected. And they sounded  _ good _ , Hux’s songs sounded  _ good _ ; his friends were making them sound  _ good _ . Maybe whatever alcohol was in the punch was starting to affect him, but he started humming along, drumming along with his fingers. His shoulders loosened up and he swayed his head in time with the music, clapping loudly and cheering between songs. Hux was almost disappointed when the set was coming to an end - they’d only planned to perform four songs (because those were the only ones that felt ready) plus an encore cover song “for fun” (Ben’s insistence). Maz had okayed it and scheduled another band with a short setlist to come on after them to make up for the rest of the night.

“Thanks for coming out tonight! We know it’s a bit nippy outside but we really appreciate that you all came out to support both us, the next band TK-421, and of course, Maz’s empire of libations.” The audience laughed. “So as a thank you we’ve got a special extra prepared for you all. Now, some of you who are regulars might remember that a few years ago we used to play cover songs here twice a month.”

Someone in the crowd ‘whooped’ and Rey pointed in their direction with one of her drumsticks. “That guy remembers!” She yelled.

“Alright,” Poe chuckled. “Back in the day, this was one of Maz’s favourite songs and one of  _ our _ favourite songs to perform, so this one’s for you Maz - thanks for hosting us again, even if we’ve gotten rusty in our old age!”

While the crowd’s cheers were still dying down, Rey counted in and Poe adeptly played the well-known riff to start off  _ Mr. Brightside _ . Ben started singing the verse as Rey joined in, and a few people cheered when they recognised the song.

At the last rehearsal they’d heavily debated what song to do as their last. Hux, Finn, and Phasma had argued for  _ Starlight _ , one of their favourites and because Muse happened to be doing a show at the Barclays Center next week, but Ben was adamant with his choice in  _ Mr. Brightside _ (both Poe and Rey had abstained from the vote). Somehow, Ben got his way. It sounded good, and it was a classic that got most of the drunk patrons in the bar singing along, so Hux really couldn’t complain. He sighed, going back to focusing on the punch and humming along with the chorus when it came.

“ _ But it’s just the price I pay, destiny is calling me. Open up my eager eyes!” _

The crowd roared at the end of the song, and Hux couldn’t help the… disheartening feeling that crept up into him slowly. The cheers had certainly been more enthusiastic for their cover rather than Hux’s original songs - was that a sign? Should he give up on this endeavor and go back to his more comfortable zone? He’d never dealt with this as the General; that was the benefit of working under a stage name and having several degrees of separation between him and the audience.

He was still chewing away at this train of thought when his friends made their way off stage and crowded into the booth around them, chatting excitedly and helping themselves to punch.

“What did ya think, buddy?” Poe’s grin was so wide with excitement, if it were any wider it would fall off his face.

Hux mustered a smile and two thumbs up, not finding the words when his mind was still elsewhere.

Rey’s smile immediately vanished. “You’re disappointed.”

“No!” Hux denied immediately. He sighed, rubbing his left temple with a thumb. His  _ friends _ had been the ones on stage performing, why was he being so self-centered about this? “No, no I’m not disappointed. It was great, you all sounded incredible as usual. I’m just -”

“Come on,” Phasma interrupted, nudging Hux with a shoulder but talking to Rey. “You know he’s always stressed about performances. He’s probably already thinking of thousands of ways to improve his songs when,” she turned to him, “they. Already. Sound. Good. And they don’t need to be rewritten.”

Finn poured him some more punch. “Yeah, man. I don’t know if you’re deaf but the crowd loved them. Just drink more punch and chill, we sounded amazing and your songs are great.”

Poe and Rey murmured agreement, and Hux saw Ben nodding from the corner of his eye. It was all he needed, really - his mood did a complete one-eighty, and he forgot his selfish worries.

Hux had  _ really _ missed doing this with his friends. And fortunately for him, it wasn’t as if they had to stop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if anyone was wondering what kind of ~sound~ the Millennial Falcon is going for, have a listen to these bands/artists: twenty one pilots, Clean Bandit, BØRNS, Passion Pit, Foster the People, and Sufjan Stevens (or, more specifically, the album Illinois)
> 
> come hit me up on [tumblr](http://bioticnerfherder.tumblr.com/)!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> content warning for alcohol consumption (as usual) and the consequences of consuming too much! (or: there is some alcohol-induced vomiting this chapter)

Disaster struck the following week.

A cold weather streak meant illness swept through most of Hux’s coworkers at Coruscant, leaving him to pick up the pieces and cover their shifts. Krennic was frustrated, claiming he would hire some extra bartenders to work into the rotation, but Hux had ended up working from open to close nightly alongside Datoo, the only other bartender who managed to avoid the flu. Hux was torn between being satisfied that he was getting paid for overtime and upset that he had had to miss rehearsals all week. He’d made sure to update Phasma on the situation daily so that his friends would know he hadn’t disappeared on them (again), but evidently it wasn’t enough.

Just over a week after the concert, Hux closed up the bar after his shift to find a surprise guest waiting for him on the sidewalk.

Double-checking the lock on the steel security gates, Hux almost missed the slouched over figure sitting between parked cars. But a quick double-take just as he’d started walking towards the subway stopped him in his tracks; he would recognise that hair anywhere.

“Ben?” He glanced up and down the street, though there was hardly anybody roaming this particular block of Chelsea at this time on a weeknight. Hux frowned, approaching Ben tentatively.

“Ben?” He repeated, softly placing a hand on his friend’s shoulder.

The man groaned in response.

“Ben, what the fuck?”

Finally, Ben tilted his head up so Hux could see part of his face, though his shoulders remained hunched. “What the fuck yourself, Hux,” Ben slurred.

_Oh great, he’s drunk._

Hux started patting around Ben’s shoulders to check in case he was injured. “Are you alright? What’s wrong?”

“I’m fine,” Ben protested as he shrugged off Hux’s hands. He placed his own palms on the cold concrete, hoisting himself up to stand on the sidewalk next to Hux. “You abandoned us. Again.”

Hux’s breath caught in his throat. If Ben was reacting this way right now, responding to the current situation like this, Hux didn’t want to imagine what had happened the first time: the night of their graduation.

“No, Ben, I haven’t abandoned you all,” Hux kept his tone cautious, not wanting to stimulate Ben’s sour mood. Ben was known for having a bad temper, and _drunk Ben_ could be even worse. “I told Phasma. My coworkers are out sick and I needed to cover for them. I’ll be there next rehearsal.”

“Excuses,” Ben mumbled at his feet, kicking at a small patch of ice on the concrete and almost losing balance for a second. “That’s how it starts.”

“I have a _job_ , Ben. I promise I’m not going to disappear on everyone. I wouldn’t do that again. I’ll _be there_ day after tomorrow for rehearsal.”

Ben’s hair was up in a messy bun, showing off the tense clenching and unclenching of his jaw along with the veins in his neck. “Well. Forgive me if I don’t completely believe that.”

“I’m sorry you don’t,” Hux offered after a pause. It stung a bit, to learn Ben didn’t trust him anymore, though Hux was sure he deserved it after what he pulled. “But I kind of need to go to work, though, since I kind of need the money? So I can’t be available _all_ the time.”

“You’re not the only one who has work. _I_ just came from work _myself_. And _I’m_ still at all our rehearsals.” Ben continued staring down the patch of ice that almost tripped him, his bottom lip in a pout that only drew more attention to the pettiness in his voice. “You should try harder to be there. With us.”

“And lose my job? I’m struggling to see the logic there.” It was getting harder to keep his cool when drunk Ben was being so damn _infuriating_ ; Hux felt his patience slipping away.

“We’re more important,” Ben insisted. “ _I’m_ more important,” he reiterated, as if he was unsure of who the ‘we’ included and had to specify.

Hux's brows furrowed and his mouth twisted into a grimace, and he couldn’t help the next words out of his own mouth.

“Not everything is about _you_ , Ben!”

Ben finally looked up at him, taking a step forward and looming into Hux's personal space. “And not everything is about _you_ , Hux!” He was making a scene, right here on the streets, but he didn’t seem to care.

“When did I ever _say_ that? Or even suggest it?” Hux pinched the bridge of his nose and exhaled sharply, willing himself to calm down. “Ben, you’re drunk and you don’t know what you’re saying.”

“Fuck you, I’m perfectly fine!” Ben roared.

“Do you even hear how ridiculous you sound? How childish, immature, and petty you’re being?” Hux reached a hand up to put a calming hand on Ben’s shoulder, but the man jerked away from Hux’s contact. “You need to calm down, Ben. I’m literally just covering for my coworkers when they’re sick, okay? Nothing else. I’m still here. I’m not going anywhere. Just calm down now, okay?”

His words only seemed to enrage Ben further. “Calm down? You want me to calm down?” Ben laughed loudly and bitterly. “You don’t get to tell me what to do anymore, Hux! You can't just waltz into my life again and pretend the last two years didn't happen! Things _change_! _I've_ changed!”

 “Waltz into your -” Hux threw his arms up in frustration. Ben was being utterly ridiculous - Hux had always _hated_ dealing with drunk, angry Ben. “ _You_ dragged me into this bloody thing with the band, _you_ asked me to do it. Those are _my_ songs you're playing!”

 “And we appreciate your sacrifice,” Ben hissed, words dripping with sarcasm.

 “Yeah, it bloody well is! I moved around shifts at work for this, I all but gave up my YouTube channel for this, and I've got bloody Bazine Netal breathing down my neck for more demos from the General that I can't give her because I've given them all to _you_!”

 “Oh boohoo,” Ben sneered, “little Armie is losing his General. Fuck you, Hux! You don't know what it's like, to have your world pulled out from under you. On a day that should have been a celebration!”

Hux narrowed his eyes. “I think I do know a thing or two about that,” he muttered.

But Ben either didn't hear or ignored it, because he continued monologuing. He started to pace on a small stretch of sidewalk, his hands alternating between running through or pulling at his dark hair. “You don't know how it felt to come home that night, after dinner with my parents, after a happy, successful day, and find all your stuff gone! And you left with only a text in the group chat saying you were moving out! That was it! And you disappeared on us, on _me_! You were always the one with the plan, Hux, and you left! You left us, you left me, without even a goodbye! It broke my heart!”

 Hux gasped.

 But Ben was still not paying him any attention. “You can't even imagine what it felt like to lose my best friend!”

 And the moment was lost.

Ben hiccuped twice, an unfortunate sound made worse by the amount of alcohol in his system - for a minute Hux was worried Ben would puke. When he didn't, Hux spoke again. “You're not the only one who lost their best friend that day.”

 Ben stopped pacing right in front of Hux to look at him with imploring eyes. “Why did you leave, Hux?”

 He couldn't tell Ben the truth. He just couldn't. Especially not after Ben had said he lost his best friend - not something _else_. He could only tell him half the truth.

 “Because I was afraid,” Hux said, his voice surprisingly soft in contrast to Ben’s shouting. “I was afraid - of the future, of the past. I was afraid of being left behind. So I took initiative and I left before that could happen.” He sniffed, willing away some tears that were threatening to surface. “Yeah it was shitty, what I did. I was an emotional wreck after graduation, probably a combination of all the stress of the last few weeks of school and a gripping fear of post-college life. I apologised to everyone individually, in the months that followed. But I didn't think you'd ever forgive me, so… I didn't try. I'm sorry.”

Ben seemed to have finally calmed down with Hux's explanation. He looked down at the sidewalk again and heaved a loud sigh. “And I never tried to reach out to you like everyone else. So. You were right to think that, I guess… I'm sorry, too.”

They remained silent for a while, letting the words settle around them. The calm was again interrupted by Ben’s hiccuping, after which he keeled over and clamped his hands over his mouth.

Hux immediately went into caretaking mode. “Ben, I'm going to take you home, okay? Have you had any water in the past hour?” Ben shook his head with his hands still over his mouth. Sighing, Hux reached into his messenger bag and thanked his lucky stars that he kept his Camelbak in there at all times. He handed the bottle to Ben who shakily accepted with one hand. Hux placed his hands on both of Ben's shoulders to steady him as he started to sip it. “Drink slowly. Breathe, drink the water, and try not to think about it.”

“I’m just trying really hard not to throw up on your feet right now,” Ben muttered at the ground, teeth clamped around the hard plastic straw of the water bottle.

Hux tried not to laugh, because Ben was positioned right over his shoes. “Please don't, these are my best shoes and I need them for work.” That earned him a nasal exhale from Ben which sounded like he was trying to laugh. “I'll hail us a cab, it shouldn't take us too long to get to my flat at this time of night. I'm going to let go of you so I can get a cab, alright?”

Ben nodded, so Hux let go and inched through the parked cars to the street. It took him a short while, but finally a yellow cab stopped and he opened the door to make sure it didn't drive away before he went back to the sidewalk to gather Ben. Fortunately, Ben had straightened up and didn't look as green, so the cab driver hopefully wouldn't be able to tell Ben had been about to throw up less than a few minutes ago - he might not have let them in his car otherwise.

Hux gently guided Ben into the back seat and slid in next to him as he gave the driver his address. Ben continued sipping at the water as the cab made its way towards the West Side highway to get them uptown faster.

“Hux?” Ben asked after a few minutes. Hux hummed acknowledgement to signal him to continue. “Who is Bazine Netal and why is she breathing down your neck?”

Hux breathed out a quiet laugh. “Bazine was at Coruscant the night of my birthday. The one who interrupted our conversation at the bar. She's a freelancer, works as an agent to some artists but mainly I use her to sell my demos. She's got a _lot_ of connections in the industry.”

“Oh, so that's why,” Ben said lamely. He blinked hard once. “When you were so hush-hush about her that night I thought you had a secret girlfriend you didn't want us to know about.”

This time Hux laughed for a solid minute. Ben gave him a questioning look which only made him laugh harder.

“You idiot,” he said finally. “We were roommates for four years and you never realised the only decoration I ever owned was a Keanu Reeves poster?”

It was true - though Hux knew his own preference from a young age, he never really spoke about it because he never saw a need to. Hux didn't really date; maybe an awkward movie or arcade trip in high school, but nothing during college. Ben had gone on a string of dates their first year at Juilliard (there was a Jesse, Diana, Lia, Peter, but none of whom had lasted more than a date and none who had been brought home), but because Hux didn't, Hux never spoke about that kind of thing. His more conservative, more private upbringing at the academy also probably had something to do with it. Hux never tried to actively hide it (especially since his mother seemed to just _know_ ), but he felt he had no reason to discuss it all the same - it was his own business.

He'd been really upset when his mother had thrown away his beloved Keanu Reeves ‘Speed’ poster when she'd helped him move out of the Knights’ Brooklyn apartment.

Ben just looked at him for a long moment before mouthing a lame “oh” and turning to the window. Uninterested in pursuing further conversation along this vein, Hux let them settle into a comfortable silence in the back of the cab. Once they reached Hux’s building, Hux let Ben exit first as he handed the driver some bills, only to have Ben puke over his shoes when he finally stepped out onto the sidewalk.

“I’m sorry!” Ben said in a hurry at the same time as Hux sighed loudly.

“Thank god it wasn't _in_ the cab or on my floor, at least,” Hux murmured as he pulled the gross shoes off and led Ben to his apartment in just his socks, Ben’s bicep in one hand and his shoes in the other.

Once they were in his apartment, Hux chucked his soiled shoes into his shower to deal with later. Millicent, who could probably smell the mess, wisely stayed folded up on her pillow, though she did watch Hux help Ben drink more water and peel off his outerwear and jeans so that Hux could tuck him into bed. Ben watched Hux fold his jeans and leave them in a neat pile on a chair, keeping his eyes trained on Hux even as he went to hang up Ben’s sweater and jacket in the closet.

Hux felt a little uncomfortable under Ben’s scrutiny, but his friend was drunk and needed to focus on something other than puking again, so he let it slide. He brought out the small trash bin from the bathroom and put in a new plastic bag, setting it close to a side of the bed before folding back the covers. Ben was still stood by the edge of the bed, in nothing but his boxers and t-shirt, and easily followed when Hux helped him onto bed and positioned him on his side. While he let Ben get comfortable, Hux retrieved a glass of water from the kitchen and set it on his nightstand for Ben.

“Wait,” Ben complained as Hux pulled the blanket up and around his neck. “Don't go. Don't leave me alone.”

“I'll just be on the floor as usual, Ben.”

“Noo,” Ben crooned. It probably would have been more effective if Ben wasn't so drunk - now he sounded like a spoiled toddler. “That's too far.”

Hux sighed. He really could never tell Ben no.

“Give me a minute.”

He straightened up and strolled away from the bed to change out of his work clothes, instead putting on sweatpants and a hoodie. When he returned to the bed Ben was still watching him intently, obviously struggling to keep his eyes open but wanting to make sure Hux did come back.

Ben was out practically as soon as Hux lay down next to him, over the blankets.

Hours later, Hux awoke still on top of the blankets. The sun cast a harsh bright light into his studio apartment and Millicent was kneading his back, meaning he had slept far later than he’d anticipated. His bed was empty except for him and Millie, and a quick look in the bathroom told him Ben had left. With his soiled shoes too, apparently, as they were no longer in the shower.

Confused, Hux picked up his phone to text Ben but found his answer waiting there.

_ > Kylo Ren [8.34]: hope this doesn't wake you up but i wanted to say sorry about last night. there was a birthday party at the jazz bar last night and i took too much advantage of the open bar. i’m gonna try and clean your shoes but if i don’t succeed i’ll get you a new pair i promise. see you tomorrow at rehearsal _

_ > Kylo Ren [8.39]: thank you for taking care of me. like always. _

***

The night of Ben’s senior recital was the night that changed everything.

Because of some scheduling mishap, Ben’s recital had ended up being on the night of their graduation. It didn’t really matter, because it would have taken a miracle for him to get anything lower than an A in performance; he would have had to desperately fuck up his recital, and Ben was not known to mess up. So his vocal professors made the exception and the recital was held while the rest of their graduating class was off celebrating with their families or probably getting drunk. It worked out in an odd way, because it meant that Ben’s busy parents, as well as his uncles, would be able to attend since they would be in town for graduation anyway.

Hux’s mother had also been present, but he had insisted Eleanor wait for him at the Knights’ apartment. He’d been planning to go home for a few weeks to prepare job applications and he had not packed at all - Eleanor was going to start packing a suitcase for Hux so that they’d save time and be able to drive up back to New England together that night itself.

In the auditorium, Hux had sat at the end of the second row, tucked away in the dark a few seats down from Luke Skywalker. Hux always felt a little anxious in Luke’s presence - his eyes seemed like they could bore right into your soul - despite having known Ben’s family for a while and actually being in their good graces throughout all four of their college years. Fortunately, Rey and Finn and a few empty seats had separated Hux from Luke, and in the presence of Wedge Antilles Luke seemed softer somehow, not as intense. So Hux had relaxed into his seat, clutching the neatly printed program in his lap.

Phasma had taken the stage first and settled onto her piano bench to accompany Ben. He walked on just after, not interacting with the audience as usual, and they’d begun the program without so much as an introduction.

No matter how many times Hux had heard Ben singing, it never ceased to amaze him. Up there, in his suit (which was a little crumpled since it was the same he’d worn to graduation that morning), he was absolutely mesmerising to Hux. Ben made it look easy to slip between genres, from jazz to 17th century arias, from Rachmaninov to Purcell and more. Hux had smiled and closed his eyes, allowing himself to be absorbed into the music.

Until Phasma had begun to play a certain familiar set of chords, and Hux had sat bolt upright. Ignoring the look Rey had shot him, he leafed through the program, but no, this song was simply listed as ‘special performance,’ and suddenly all Hux could think about was a drunken February night two years prior.

“ _When the rain is pouring in your face, and the whole world is on your case. I could offer you a warm embrace to make you feel my love_.”

Hux had been glad to be sitting down because his legs felt like they’d turned to jelly. It was drastically different to when Ben had sung it, drunk, on their bedroom floor, and yet… it sounded the same. Hux’s mind reeled - why had Ben chosen this song for his recital? Did he remember that night or what Hux had said about this song? Probably not; the only person in their apartment who’d ever talked about the singer was Rey, and that was mainly because _Skyfall_ had won an Oscar that year. And just when Hux was as confused as he’d ever been, Ben looked up and met Hux’s gaze as if he’d known instinctively where Hux had been sitting.

“ _I know you haven’t made your mind up yet, but I would never do you wrong. I’ve known it from the moment that we met; no doubt in my mind where you belong._ ”

He’d looked away then, but the damage had been done; Hux hadn’t heard the rest of the song, his heart hammering too loud in his ears.

_I’m in love with Ben. And I am completely fucked._

***

As per his agreement with Finn, Hux found himself lugging his cello all the way to Brooklyn two days after Ben’s drunken antics. He was meeting Finn at Temmin’s place an hour and a half before everyone else would come for rehearsal, giving them time to work on the violin/cello duet Hux had tucked into his messenger bag. He actually felt a little uncharacteristically thrilled about this evening - yes, it was a hassle to bring his cello back and forth between Harlem and Bay Ridge, but he hadn’t played his cello for pleasure in a long time. These days he only ever played during tutoring.

Besides, he'd never actually played with Finn one-on-one; they'd only ever played together in orchestra, chamber, and string quartets, at First Order and then Juilliard. It would be fun to finally get to play some string duets with his friend.

“Hey dude,” Finn greeted as Hux approached him on the sidewalk in front of Temmin’s house. Finn wore his usual cheerful grin. “Ready?”

“You bet.” Hux smiled back and followed Finn down the side stairway into the basement, ducking into the room after Finn unlocked the door and gestured for him to pass first.

Temmin’s basement had its own entrance as well as the adjoining door to the house, but their ever-caring host had given Poe a copy of his basement key for them to come and go into the makeshift ‘studio’ as they pleased. Though they could only access the main house when Temmin was home, the unlimited use of the soundproof basement had proved very convenient.

“So I brought some music I think you’ll enjoy,” Hux said as he grabbed a stool from one corner of the basement. He set it down in front of Rey’s drum kit, where Finn was clearing some space by moving some of their amps.

“What is it?” Finn asked, grabbing a folding chair and setting it close to Hux’s stool.

Hux set his bag and his hard shell cello case on the floor, lifting his cello gently and pulling out his bow and tuning fork from their pockets. He nodded at his messenger bag, gesturing for Finn to rifle through it. “In there. We haven’t got any music stands in here so we might need another chair.”

“Right,” Finn flashed him a thumbs up and retrieved another identical folding chair, which was probably part of a set used for parties. He pointed at Hux’s bag in question. “May I?”

“Go for it,” Hux said, voice muffled by the end of the tuning fork in his mouth. He settled onto the stool and set to work making sure his cello was tuned (it usually was, since he used it so often for tutoring) while Finn rifled through the contents of his bag.

“Dude!” Finn laughed as he finally found the sheet music. “This is awesome! Where did you get this arrangement?”

Hux grinned. He’d known Finn would appreciate his choice: Halvorsen’s _Passacaglia_ , a piece inspired by Handel.

Finn was probably the only person Hux knew whose favourite composer was Handel. If he had to guess, Hux would say it probably stemmed from the fact that Finn’s family was fairly religious and listened to music like Handel’s _Messiah_ every week while cooking Sunday dinner. Though Finn never knew his real parents because he lost them at a young age, he was taken in by his grandparents which was how he’d ended up in rural New England in the first place. He loved the elderly couple dearly, and they were probably why he had a fondness for their taste in music.

_Passacaglia_ was actually composed for violin and viola, which could easily be translated into a violin and cello duet, but with some persuasion Hux had managed to get ahold of some sheet music that had already altered the instruments.

“Let’s just say I have my ways,” Hux teased. Satisfied with his tuning, he accepted the sheet music Finn handed him and tried to set it up on their makeshift music stand as Finn pulled out his violin to tune.

“You bribed a student to get this for you from their school library, didn’t you?”

“Hey, Thanisson is my best student and would gladly photocopy any sheet music for me. No bribes required.”

“Uh huh,” Finn rolled his eyes as he continued tuning.

Once they were ready, they looked over the music together, not yet playing their instruments. Hux’s sight reading had always been his weakest aspect of performance - he wasn’t _bad_ at it, he was just not as good as Finn or Phasma and he always made sure to look through the music a few times to feel it out before even touching his bow. Fortunately, he’d looked over the sheets on his subway ride here, so it didn’t take long for Finn and Hux to start stumbling through the first half of the piece.

They worked together surprisingly well. Having known each other and been friends for years certainly helped, since communication was key in the early stages of practice; especially for a duet like this. It wasn’t sounding half bad by the time they were met with some slow clapping after a while.

“Wow,” Ben commented from the doorway of the basement.

Hux and Finn looked at each other startled - had the time gone by so quickly? Hux nodded at Ben in greeting, who returned the look with a tight-lipped smile.

“Hey man,” Finn waved at Ben with the hand carrying his bow. “Is it really time for rehearsal? We really lost track of time.”

“I’m ten minutes early but it was worth it to hear _that_ ,” Ben gestured at the two of them. “It sounded really good. Why haven’t you two done any duets before?”

Hux shrugged, exchanging a glance at Finn. “Not sure. Better late than never.”

Ben insisted they play again before rehearsal, apologising for interrupting them and begging to hear _Passacaglia_ again. The basement door banged open again a page into the piece, but Hux and Finn ignored the appearance of the rest of their friends, continuing until they reached the end of what they’d practiced today. The cellist and the violinist then put away their instruments since they were obviously not going to be doing any more string duo playing tonight.

“Wa-hey! That was great!” Poe clapped enthusiastically.

“Thanks Poe,” Finn beamed at his roommate as the rest of the Millennial Falcon started setting up their own equipment and instruments for rehearsal.

Rey squeezed Hux’s arm and smiled as she slipped past him to get to her drum kit. “I always love hearing you play, Armie,” she said to him. Turning to Finn, she added, “and Finn, the Brooklyn Symphony had better offer you an audition or they’ll be hearing some choice words from me.”

“Rey,” Finn chuckled, “you do realise that they can only audition instruments they have a need of? What if they don’t need a violin player?”

Poe laughed loudly. “Hey Rey, you should audition. Then you can get Finn an in. They always need triangle players.”

“I won’t have you shit on my instrument, Poe,” Rey snorted. “I’ll have you know percussion is the backbone of any orchestra. The triangle is absolutely indispensable.”

“Mm, yes, that’s why Hux writes a triangle part into every one of his compositions, right?”

Hux rolled his eyes at his friends’ banter as he made his way to his usual corner of the room with his cello and his chair. His role at rehearsals was generally small, consisting of being present in the room and listening to his friends play his songs - offering comments or clarification or tweaking parts that didn’t sound right. In his week of missed rehearsals, the Millennial Falcon had started practicing a new song from sheet music Hux had emailed them, but it was a song Hux wasn’t particularly fond of; something felt wrong about it, even in his tinny-sounding MIDI files produced by his score-reading software. He hoped that hearing it played by actual instruments would help.

As his friends started the song, it didn’t take Hux to realise what was quite wrong with it. The song was a more upbeat and ‘dancey’, at Rey’s suggestion, and it was driven mainly by the drums and the piano. It showcased Rey and Phasma beautifully, but left Finn’s rhythm guitar feeling somewhat redundant - this song definitely did not need more than one guitar. But Hux felt like the song was missing something, like it needed something else, and he couldn’t just drop the second guitar and have Finn _not_ play…

_Oh._

His eyes landed on the violin case nestled next to his cello. The sounds of the second pre-chorus floated towards him at that exact moment, and Hux suddenly knew how to ‘fix’ the song.

Hux scrambled madly for his messenger bag, almost falling out of his chair as he frantically grabbed his staff paper notebook and a pencil from his bag. He already had the beginnings of a new melody in his head, and he needed to get out and jot it down before it was lost in the sound of the chorus. Ignoring the questioning looks he felt following him, Hux bolted for the basement door.

“Give me ten minutes!”

The next quarter of an hour was spent bent over his notepad while crouched on Temmin Wexley’s front stoop, pencilling notes onto staff paper like a man possessed. He had no idea if his friends had continued to play in his absence - Temmin and his mother had done a really good job of soundproofing the basement - but he didn’t care; this idea would fix the song… _if_ his friends would roll with it. He managed to get a page and a half of melody written before returning to the basement - if it sounded good, he would add more.

“Doing alright there, buddy?” Poe asked when Hux returned.

“Yes, and I have an idea.”

Hux grabbed his chair from the corner and set in front of Finn to use as a makeshift music stand again. He set his notepad on it and gestured for Finn to look over what he’d written. Finn shot him a curious look but obliged, setting down his guitar. Hux switched off Finn’s amp and moved both amp and guitar a little out of the way, towards the outer edges of the room, and went back to his corner to retrieve Finn’s violin case.

“Try this,” Hux said as he handed Finn his violin. “Bar one on the notepad is the beginning of the pre-chorus, the last bar is the end of the chorus. Let’s start from the top and see how it sounds?”

Ever the professionals, the rest of the band took up their instruments without comment (except for a raised eyebrow from Finn) and played the song as per instruction, with the addition of Finn’s violin.

Hux closed his eyes to listen, grinning as the violin kicked in eventually - it sounded a lot better than it had before.

“So?” he asked when he opened his eyes.

Rey, Finn, Phasma, and Poe grinned and nodded back at him, saying all that needed to be said.

“Alright, well, I can work on the rest of the violin part right now if you guys want to practice something else and -”

“I think we can do better.”

Everyone turned to Ben.

“I think it’s missing one more thing,” Ben said, lifting his arm to point at something behind Hux. Turning, Hux realised Ben was pointing at his cello.

“Me?” Hux shook his head. “I don’t perform, that’s up to you all. Not me. I’m just the songwriter.”

“ _Try_ it,” Ben insisted.

“I haven’t written anything.”

Ben shrugged. “Just make it up as we play. That’s pretty much what you did for the violin part, wasn’t it?”

Hux frowned.

“Armie, come _on,_ ” Rey pleaded, “I literally told you less than an hour ago that I love hearing you play. And that magic you were conjuring with Finn on our way in? Imagine how amazing it would sound if our songs had something like it.”

Sighing, Hux turned to his cello to gently extract it from its case. He made his way to his stool from earlier, which was tucked next to Rey’s drum kit, and settled down with his cello between his knees.

“Just… start from the top, I suppose. I’ll play whatever comes to mind. Finn, for now stick to what I wrote.”

Rey counted them in, and they began replaying the song from the beginning - just the drums and the piano first, then the vocals, followed by the chords on guitar and eventually the bassline. Hux listened, eventually picking up his bow and playing some soft low notes in harmony with Poe’s chords. He dropped out in the pre-chorus, letting Finn’s violin and Ben’s voice take the focus, before coming back in for the chorus and echoing Finn. The six friends stopped playing after the chorus.

It had worked _beautifully_.

Rey poked Hux with a drumstick. “You should work string parts into as many of our songs as possible. It would sound awesome!”

“Yeah,” Finn nodded, “most of our songs don’t need a rhythm guitar. And when it does, I’ll just swap between the two.”

Poe and Phasma agreed eagerly, immediately starting to brainstorm out loud which songs would need to be rewritten or not.

“I think,” Ben interrupted loudly, drawing everyone’s attention. “I _think_ we just found our sound.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Passacaglia](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GGSJXDjuN2Y) performed by Julia Fischer and Daniel Müller-Schott, a beautiful piece
> 
> and the ~style~ of a dance/synthpop/classical crossover described here (or, when the kids added the string parts to their song) is inspired by the music of Clean Bandit; i recommend listening to [Stronger](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_c_n0A3BFVE) and (of course) [Rather Be](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m-M1AtrxztU) for a taste!


	6. Chapter 6

“Listen here. You stop doing that this instant, you useless digits.”

Hux's fingers continued to tremble despite his stern warning directed at them.

Spring in New York was usually pleasant - warm, sunny, filled with colourful blossoms bringing new life for the year - but as usual, winter was reluctant to release the weather from its claws. The temperature on this mid March evening was particularly bitter, forcing Hux to drag his lightest winter coat out of his closet one last time. It had also severely disappointed Poe, who had been hoping to celebrate his birthday next week at a rooftop bar, but the weather simply did not want that to happen.

But the weather not why Hux’s fingers would not stop shaking.

Sighing, Hux turned the water on in the sink as hot as it would go, putting his hands under the scalding tap. Maz had fortunately let him use the bathroom ensuite to her own back office at Takodana, so at least he had some privacy while he tried to shake off these nerves.

After their successful concert at Takodana a month and a half month ago, Maz had been trying to get them to come back ever since. She had been extremely complimentary of their new style and vaguely hinted that if they performed at her bar again she would make sure the “right people” would be there. Though none of the Millennial Falcon quite understood what she'd meant, they had unanimously agreed that performing at Takodana again couldn’t hurt. So they’d agreed to Maz’s terms and scheduled the performance for mid-March.

Hux was regretting agreeing at all, since they’d scheduled it _before_ they added the violin and cello to their instrument roster. Or rather, _before_ they had decided Hux would perform with them. Now that the situation had changed… he was feeling rather queasy at the idea of getting onstage. But it wasn’t as if he’d never performed before - Hux had been a cello virtuoso at First Order (and Juilliard, until he switched his major to composition), and he was confident he _could_ do it. Why, then, was he feeling so nervous?

A sharp knock on the door startled Hux, making him jump slightly.

“Hux?” Ben said through the door. “Are you alright?”

“Yes,” Hux lied. “I’ll be out in a second.”

Taking a moment for a few deep breaths, Hux finally opened the door and made a tight-lipped smile at Ben.

“What’s wrong?” Ben asked, face a serious mask. It wasn’t surprising to see that he’d known Hux was lying.

“M'fine,” Hux murmured as he pushed passed Ben to exit the bathroom. “Let’s just get this concert through with.”

“Hux,” Ben called to him. Hux stopped in the doorway of Maz’s office, turning his head slightly over his shoulder so his cheek faced Ben. “It will sound good. _You_ will sound good. I’ve never seen you fuck up onstage.”

Hux had to resist the urge to laugh. Instead, he settled on a subtle snigger. “That’s because I haven’t gotten on a stage in years. And even in college, it was pretty rare.”

Ben moved towards him as Hux watched in the corner of his eye. “Trust me, you’ll be fine.” When he got close enough, Ben placed a comforting hand on Hux’s shoulder. “More than fine.”

A small smile wormed its way onto Hux’s lips, staying there even when Ben removed his hand and Hux made his way down the hall towards the front room of Takodana. He _did_ feel better after Ben’s words of encouragement - almost as if Ben had played some sort of mind trick on him.

The patrons in the bar, already halfway to drunk despite the relatively early hour (probably using the weekend to make up for the fact that St. Patrick’s Day was on a weekday this year), cheered as the Millennial Falcon took to the stage. The sound felt deafening to Hux, though it wasn’t even all that loud. Instead of rekindling his nerves, it felt good; combined with the still-warm patch of skin on his shoulder, the noise provided some distraction so he could do what he did best - focus on the music. He settled on the stool placed for him on the small stage, tucked close to Finn’s stool, and hugged his cello close between his knees.

Because neither Hux nor Finn owned electric string instruments (since their violin and cello had been intended for use in an orchestra rather than a band), they had set up extra mics which Hux double-checked with a quick, soft tap before flashing a thumbs up at everyone. Nodding once at Finn, they picked up their bows to begin. Hux had composed a one minute violin/cello duet as a prelude to lead into their first song, after which Poe would introduce the band as usual.

Everything went… much smoother than Hux had anticipated. Even if their audience was drunk, their enthusiasm for the music was heartening, to say the least. A few of the more vivacious audience members stood up to dance (or rather, sway somewhat in time with the beat with a few hand movements thrown in here and there), and three unfortunately _wasted_ patrons were half-heartedly trying to mosh at one side of the stage. The attempt was embarrassing but the effort was appreciated, anyway.

When Hux stepped off the stage after their set was over, he could have sworn the number of people in the bar had doubled - had all the cheering and noise from their performance attracted the attention of passersby on the street? When had all these people come in?

“Whoa,” Rey voiced Hux’s main thought as she stepped down after him. “The stage lights are brighter than I thought if we couldn’t see all these people,” she commented.

“Yes…” Hux responded. His fingers were shaking again, even though he’d managed to get through the concert without messing up.

“Come on!” Poe nudged Hux and Rey aside and led the way to their booth, which was reserved for them as usual by Grummgar (who Hux decided he needed to start tipping better). “Time for drinking!”

Making their way through the large crowd was more difficult than usual tonight, but eventually the six friends made it to their booth unscathed. Hux sat at his regular spot on the outer edge, tuning out his friends’ conversation as he sipped at the punch left on their table, which tonight was an alarming shade of pink. He was on his third glass when someone caught his attention.

“Hello there! Good evening!” An older man appeared by Hux’s shoulder and offered his hand to shake. “That was an awesome performance. Absolutely amazing.”

Hux looked up slowly, confused by the man’s sudden appearance. His friends were too engrossed in their own conversation and the background noise was too loud for them to notice the man, so Hux was on his own.

“Thank you,” he half-shouted. He shook the man’s hand and took in his appearance: dark skin, slicked back black hair with a thick salt-and-pepper moustache, his look completed by a smart-casual suit without tie (way more formal than anyone else in Takodana). “Can I help you?”

“No, but I can help you.” The man reached into a pocket and handed him a business card. “The name is Lando Calrissian. Maz invited me here, told me I _had_ to listen to you guys. Didn’t even tell me anything else, but said I just _had_ to listen. I own a few small recording studios and I think she wanted me to offer you guys the use of one of ‘em.”

Hux’s eyes widened. He elbowed Phasma next to him, getting her attention before replying. “And your assessment of us is…?”

Lando smiled. “I like your sound. I like it a lot. I think there’s definitely an arrangement we can cook up, I would definitely like if you kids recorded an album in my studios.”

“That definitely sounds like something we would be interested in,” Hux nodded. “My name is Hux, by the way.”

The older man opened his mouth to reply but was interrupted.

“Uncle Lando?”

Lando looked up at Rey and Ben, seated next to each other, and squinted at them for a moment before his eyes widened. “Ben? Rey? My god, I didn’t realise this was _your_ band! I haven’t seen you kids in years, I barely recognised you!”

Hux rolled his eyes. Of _course_ Maz’s ‘connections’ would be somehow connected to the Skywalker-Organa-Solo clan.

Rey’s eyebrows were raised in surprise. “I didn’t realise you were back in New York?”

“I’m not, mostly, but Chance is taking over the studio in California so I myself am based mostly on the East Coast. At least for now. And you kids? How are your parents? God, I don’t think I’ve seen you since you were in high school!” Lando turned to Ben. “How’s Han, that old pirate? And your mother? She’s really firing up a storm down in Washington!”

Ben shrugged nonchalantly. “Han’s in Bermuda right now, something about a sailboat race. And yeah, the Senate hasn’t been the same since mom moved down to DC.”

“Though Massachusetts is still mourning the loss of their best governor, I’d imagine,” Lando grinned. Turning to Rey, he asked, “how are your dads?”

“They’re fine,” Rey chirped. “Both well, healthy and happy.”

“I’ve been trying to get Luke to send me his best graduates for years, hoping to pinch some resident musicians for my studios. He never takes me up on that,” Lando chuckled.

“What are you doing in Maz’s bar?”

“Like I was just telling Hux,” Lando gestured at him, “I came here at Maz’s request. She probably wanted me to offer use of my studios so you guys could record an album. So if you kids agree, I might finally be getting some Skywalker kids after all.”

Hux and Phasma exchanged a quick glance and rolled their eyes. Though they’d gotten over the whole ‘First Order versus Skywalker Sound’ feud years ago, some school spirit still lingered.

“That… would be pretty damn awesome, Lando,” Rey said, oblivious to Hux and Phasma’s (mostly) joking annoyance at Lando’s comment.

“But how much would something like that cost?” Finn, ever the pragmatic one, asked - directed at his friends rather than Lando. “I feel like we can’t afford that.”

Lando placed his palms on their table, bringing his voice as conspiratorially low as he could in the noisy bar. “For you kids? I’ll give you studio time for free. You’ll have to mix it yourself, but you’re all smart and talented. I’m sure you’ll figure it out.”

“So,” Poe set down his glass of punch. “I guess the Millennial Falcon is recording an album.”

***

When Armitage first met Ben, it had been hate at first sight.

Two years after moving in with his mother and before he had started going by just ‘Hux,’ Armitage had returned to Martha’s Vineyard for his third First Order summer camp. Maestro Snoke owned a large estate on the island which he’d transformed into a campus for First Order - the property had enough space for several buildings, including dormitories and classrooms and small performance halls, and also provided some entertainment for children in the form of the ocean. It was a win-win, really, to Armitage; he got to spend his summers doing what he loved _and_ got a holiday on Martha’s Vineyard out of it.

He’d just arrived on the property for that year, fresh off the bus with Phasma and Finn, when he first laid eyes on Ben.

Well, it was not really the first time Armitage had seen him. It was hard to _not_ see pictures of Ben Organa-Solo, Massachusetts’ _First Son_ , when Armitage’s mother was Governor Organa’s biggest fan. Eleanor constantly kept clippings of news articles about Governor Leia Organa, attended many of her local town hall events, and was always showing Armitage photos of the Organa-Solo family: the Governor, the (constantly ‘ _travelling_ ’) _First Gentleman_ Han Solo, and their son.

Who was supposed to have been attending Skywalker’s summer camp, _not_ intruding on Armitage’s First Order haven.

Before Phasma or Finn could protest, Armitage had stomped over to the wannabe-emo looking kid with jet black hair in his eyes and injected as much venom into his voice as he could fathom.

“You’re in the wrong place.”

Ben had looked up, surprised, and did a quick up-and-down look over Armitage before his expression had become a smug smirk. “No, I’m _exactly_ where I need to be.”

“Skywalker’s camp is up in New Hampshire, _Ben_.”

_That_ had wiped the smirk off Ben’s face. “I’m here for First Order camp. I’m not a Skywalker kid.”

Armitage had laughed. “First Order is no place for you, _Organa_.”

“My name is _Kylo_ , carrot top!”

To this day, Hux couldn’t remember who threw the first punch. But after the insults had started flying and the punches had turned into hair pulling and rolling on the ground, Armitage and Ben had found themselves thrown into the isolation cabin for a week as punishment.

“You punch like a wimp,” Ben-Kylo-whatever-his-name had said, nursing an ice pack on his split lip.

Armitage had snorted. “That was my first fight and I still held my own against your sorry ass.”

“Right. ‘Holding your own’ is why you have a black eye.”

“And your lip is bleeding again. So shut your damn mouth.”

Kylo had snarled and gotten up from the bed in a swift motion, making as if to start the fight all over again.

“Careful, Ben,” Armitage had said, one palm raised. “Anymore fighting and we’ll get more assigned time in this fucking cabin. I actually have _friends_ I would like to get back to.” That had been somewhat of a white lie - his only real friends were Phasma and Finn, and even Finn had been distant lately. The violinist had been feeling disillusioned with First Order since a particularly tense berating by Maestro Yularen in chamber orchestra a few months back. But Kylo-Ben hadn’t needed to know that.

The two teens hadn’t spoken after that on the first night. They’d been banned from all activities for the first day (the fun activities, like kayaking, before the actual music started) too and had ended up sitting around their cabin in silence.

It hadn’t been until after dinner on that second night that Armitage had first said something.

“I know you’re Governor Organa’s son. So what the hell are you doing here and not at your uncle’s summer camp?”

“I was beginning to think you’d finally lost your tongue, gingerbread.” Kylo had barely looked up at Armitage from his position on his bunk. “Do I get your name if I answer your question?”

“Sure.”

It had seemed like Kylo was just waiting for the chance to talk to someone about it - he started talking without any more prompting. “My parents lied to me. My whole life - my parents, grandparents, uncles - they all lied. Maestro Snoke has been the only one open with me about the truth. So, I thought I’d give his school a shot. He says I’ve got so much more potential than what Skywalker and his teachers were doing for me.”

Armitage had laughed. “That’s dramatic. What did your family lie about?”

“Name,” Kylo had said.

“Armitage. Armitage Hux. And don’t laugh, I know the name is weird. I think I’ll just go by ‘Hux’ probably.”

The same smirk of the day before had appeared on Kylo’s face. “Hux suits you. But I myself am going to stick to Armie. And to answer your question, they lied about my grandparents. They’re not my real grandparents.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Bail and Breha Organa were basically Washington royalty. The former Secretary of State had been a popular name tossed about for presidential candidate back in the day, but ultimately the Organas had scaled down their public service for a more private and family-oriented life. Leia Organa was expected to follow in their footsteps, and possibly go even further to make it all the way to the Oval Office (but those had just been whispers at the time).

“My mother was adopted.”

Armitage had sat upright so fast he fell off his bunk. “Shut the front door. You’re lying.”

They’d spent the rest of the night exchanging stories of their youth. Kylo had told Armitage all about the secret children of Anakin Vaderetti, world-famous tenor whose scandals outnumbered his accolades. Whispers of drug use, violent tantrums, assault, and even an affair with Senator Padme Naberrie (who, a year later, was found dead) had tainted Anakin’s name to the point that he, too, disappeared. Kylo had insisted it was foul play, reiterated that he felt betrayed by his family for keeping the truth from him, and said he wanted to “finish what my grandfather started.” Armitage had detailed his life at the Hux estate in Northern Ireland and at the academy, talked about what had gotten him into music in the first place, and excitedly described what Kylo could expect from First Order.

Armitage and Kylo had started summer camp as apathetic acquaintances, but by the end of their week in the isolation cabin Hux and Ben had left as best friends.

***

By late spring, the Millennial Falcon were well on their way to completing their first album. Lando was true to his word - once or twice a week he gave them a few hours in the recording studio, completely gratis, and the six friends were slowly but surely able to record their songs. All the songs for the album _were_ written, and rehearsals in Temmin’s basement became focused solely on perfecting those songs to optimise time in the recording studio.

All the songs were ready to record - except for one.

Most of the Millennial Falcon’s ‘sound’ was based around upbeat tunes (which would certainly go well with their planned release of the album at the start of summer), but when Hux tried to finalise their tracklist of nine songs, Ben suggested they include a slower, more ballad-like song to balance out the rest of the album. Of _course_ the rest of his friends agreed eagerly, so Hux had to sit down and write one more song. For the most part, it sounded fine - the instrumentation and the melody were complete, and they sounded beautiful. The problem, however, was the lyrics.

Something just _wasn’t_ working with the lyrics.

Sighing, Hux jerked off his headphones and threw them on his desk. He put down and picked up his pencil a few times, then inserted its end into his mouth to chew on as he thought. He’d already sent the music and the MIDI files to his friends days ago, and they had already approved of the song, so he just needed to fill the blanks with words. It was the _last song_ for the album, the last song he had to write. It was done, all he needed to do was finish the lyrics. Why was his brain just not cooperating with him?

Hux snarled, tossing his notebook rather violently over his shoulder and across the room. That earned him a hiss from Millicent, who disliked flying objects, but he ignored the cat; Hux sighed again exasperatedly and rubbed his hands over his face before getting up to pace the short length of his apartment. He needed to get out of here.

Yes. Maybe a change of scenery would help turn the gears of his mind?

“Hush, Millie,” Hux chided the hissing cat as he retrieved his phone from underneath her on the bed. Poe, Finn, and Rey would be at work right now, so he couldn’t get the key to Temmin’s basement from them. With luck, perhaps Temmin would be home - Hux took the chance and texted him anyway, and was pleasantly surprised to get a response quickly.

_ > A. Hux [11.49]: Hi Temmin, sorry to bother you. I was wondering if you were around today? Poe is at work so I can’t get the key from him, and I was just hoping to do some writing in the basement with the piano. Would you be able to let me in? Thanks. _

_ > T. Wexley [11.53]: Hey man! You’re in luck, I’ll be home in half an hour for lunch. Does that work? I can let you in and you can leave whenever, just make sure to lock the door when you’re done. _

_ > A. Hux [11.53]: Perfect, see you then. _

Hux practically lunged for his sock drawer, not even stopping to check if the socks he threw on matched. He hurriedly dumped some food in Millicent’s bowl in case he was out later than her dinner time, shoved his notebook and pencil into his bag, and pulled on his Toms sneakers in record time. Throwing on a windbreaker as he exited the apartment, he secretly thanked past Hux for having the good idea to put on actual clothes today, a t-shirt and jeans, instead of just sweatpants - it meant he could leave quicker, and the sooner he was out of his home the faster he felt he’d be able to get this damn song done.

It took longer to get to Bay Ridge than Hux had hoped, and he found Temmin waiting for him on the front stoop of the house.

“Hi Temmin, I’m so sorry, there’s construction on the R today,” Hux said breathlessly, since he’d practically jogged from the subway to Temmin’s house.

Temmin greeted him with his usual smile. “No problem - the MTA is always doing some sort of construction somewhere.” He chuckled briefly, while Hux simply tried to flash him a smile. “You got here just in time, I’ve gotta get back to the shop. Here,” Temmin opened his front door, “knock yourself out. Just make sure you lock the door on your way out, alright?”

“Of course,” Hux nodded eagerly, bounding up the steps of the stoop. “Thank you so much.”

“Don’t worry about it!” Temmin called over his shoulder as he walked to his car.

Hux was sure Temmin deserved some sort of credit on their album for all his help. Maybe they should list him as a producer? Hux made a mental note to bring it up in the group chat or at the next rehearsal.

Waving at Temmin once more, Hux shut and locked the front door behind him before making his way to the basement door. The house was pin-drop silent; it was no wonder Norra Wexley had decided to retire somewhere warmer and probably more lively than this townhouse. Temmin often hosted barbecues in his yard (weather permitting) and spent a lot of time in his shop or out, so he was definitely not lonely in this big house by himself. Still, it was so strange for Hux to be in a home as quiet as this one, compared to his own apartment; this house reminded him too much of his mother’s home in New England.

The sealed basement door betrayed nothing (Norra and Temmin had _really_ done a stellar job of soundproofing), but the moment Hux cracked it open the sound of soft chords on the piano began to float up the stairs.

Was Phasma here? Temmin hadn’t mentioned anyone else and the keys to the basement door were always kept in Poe, Finn, and Rey’s apartment. So Phasma would have either had to get the keys from their apartment or asked Temmin to let her in, which obviously she hadn’t. So that meant -

The singing started as soon as he thought Ben’s name.

_“We were in love, we were in love; Palisades, Palisades, I can wait, I can wait.”_

Hux crept slowly down the stairs, shutting the basement door behind him quietly. He didn’t want to interrupt Ben, and it was almost hilariously convenient that the piano faced away from the stairs; Hux made it all the way down into the basement without being spotted or heard. Ben continued to play the melancholic chords on the piano and sing along, his voice gentle and tender.

“ _I can't explain the state that I'm in, the state of my heart. He was my best friend; into the car, from the back seat, oh admiration in falling asleep.”_

Hux gasped. Trying not to think about the actual words being sung, Hux realised that he recognised the melody Ben was singing; it was _his_ song.

The very song he had come here to finish.

_“All of my powers, day after day, I can tell you, we swaggered and swayed - deep in the tower, the prairies below. I can tell you, the telling gets old - terrible sting and terrible storm.”_

But these weren’t Hux’s lyrics. Hux had sent his friends the music but no lyrics, since he hadn’t had any _to_ send. Had Ben written these himself?

_“My friend is gone, he ran away. I can tell you, I love him each day; though we have sparred, wrestled, and raged, I can tell you I love him each day._ ”

Hux’s stomach flipped. His heart hammered loudly in his ears, and it wasn’t until Ben’s hands fell to the piano bench by Ben’s thighs that Hux realised he’d stopped playing.

He needed to say something. Now.

“Ben,” was all Hux managed to croak.

Ben jumped, practically falling off the bench as he stood up and turned towards Hux. “H-Hux,” he stammered, his eyes wide.

“I’m sorry, I… I didn’t mean to startle you.” Hux swallowed. “That was… lovely.”

“Er, thanks? It’s just a little something, I guess.” Ben frowned and reached to rub the back of his neck with one hand.

“What, um,” Hux coughed. “That was my song?”

“Yes,” Ben said. He took a deep breath and Hux could almost see the tension of being caught leave Ben’s body. “Yes,” he repeated more confidently. “You seemed to be having trouble with the lyrics so… I finished it.”

“I know.”

“Then why did you ask?”

“Well…” Hux hesitated. “It was beautiful. Truly.” And, because he apparently couldn’t bring himself to ask about the meaning behind the words, he added, “it will be the best song on the album, thanks to you.”

Ben shrugged. “It’s something. We don’t have to use it, it’s not as good as you say. I’m sure whatever you’ve written is better.”

“Whatever I’ve written?” Hux gaped for a few seconds before he started to laugh maniacally.

“Um, Hux? Are you alright?”

No, Hux felt like he’d finally lost it. But better to come to terms with that than ignore it, right?

“No, you idiot, I’m not alright,” he wheezed out between bursts of laughter.

“Okay…” Ben was confused.

Hux ran a hand through his hair and closed his eyes to help even out his breathing. “You’re an idiot, Ben Organa-Solo. Truly, an idiot.”

“I’m sure you’re right, but why?”

“You think _that_ was just ‘something’? That was obviously not _just_ something. You made my song sound like it’s fucking Grammy worthy or whatever.” Hux let out another crazy laugh, taking a few more steps into the room. “You have this, this crazy ability to take something okay and turn it into something beautiful. Like a fucking caterpillar to a butterfly or something. I don’t understand.”

Ben raised his hands in a gesture to calm down. “Hux?”

But he couldn’t calm down - something in Hux had snapped and he suddenly couldn’t stop running his mouth.

“I mean, look at us, the Knights or the Millennial Falcon or whatever - we all hated each other in high school and somehow you helped bring us together, and look at us now?” He was almost yelling at this point.

“Hux!”

He ignored Ben. One of Ben’s lyrics stuck in his mind as he continued on his rant: _my friend is gone, he ran away. I can tell you, I love him each day._

“And, and me! Look at _me_ , Ben! Before I met you I was just a dorky brat who’d only ever had two friends in his life and only cared about music and, and now I’m - I’m writing _love songs_ for goodness sake! I’m writing goddamn _love_ songs as if I know what love is! I’ve only ever been in love once and nothing even happened! What the fuck do _I_ know about love?”

“Hu-” Ben’s final attempt to interrupt pushed the last words out of Hux before he could stop them.

“Apparently a lot because I’ve been writing songs about you for years and they all seemed to turn out well!”

Gasping as he realised what he’d said, Hux clamped a hand over his mouth. Ben stared at him, wide-eyed, and he stared back for a full minute before turning to run back up the stairs.

“Hux, Hux wait!”

Damn Ben and his long legs reached the stairs just as Hux tried to bolt up them, and Ben managed to block Hux’s escape by grabbing his free arm to stop Hux in his tracks.

“Hux!” Ben demanded as he spun Hux around with the arm he was holding onto.

He couldn’t look at Ben; he’d spent almost three years keeping these feelings bottled down, only letting them out on the page, and he just couldn’t look at Ben after revealing himself. Hux kept his hand over his mouth and his eyes on the ground.

“Hux,” Ben repeated, softer this time. He reached up to Hux’s face with his free hand to pry Hux’s fingers away from his face, but instead of releasing the hand as he let it drop, Ben intertwined their fingers.

“Armie…”

Hux’s eyes snapped up at that.

Ben had a small smile on his lips and a sad look in his eyes. “Arm… you say _I’m_ an idiot, but I’m not the _only_ idiot in the room. Did you really not listen to anything I just sang?”

“I…”

But Hux was interrupted before he could finish the sentence, or even the thought.

Ben released his grip on Hux’s forearm, instead moving to grip the nape of his neck and pulling him forward. Leaning in, Ben glanced up into Hux’s eyes as if for confirmation before shifting his gaze downward, catching Hux’s lips with his own in a featherlight kiss. Hux felt his eyes slide shut and he pressed forward towards Ben, mashing their lips together awkwardly, but he had suddenly lost the ability to care; Ben had kissed him.

Hux was, frankly, surprised his legs were still holding him up.

Ben pulled away before either of them could get carried away, but as if he couldn’t bring himself to stray far Ben rested his forehead against Hux’s. Hux felt Ben’s warm breath ghost across his cheeks when he spoke.

“I love you, too, Armie. I always have,” he whispered.

They stood like that for a few minutes, their breathing evening out and eventually syncing before Ben broke the silence again.

“This is… this is why you left, isn’t it? This is what you were afraid of?”

Hux swallowed. The silence seemed to answer for him.

He wasn’t sure which of them moved to kiss the other again, neither was he sure who had first opened their mouths to deepen the kiss. He would also deny the wetness on his cheeks were tears, and if they were who was to say they were _his_ tears?

All that mattered to Hux right now was that _Ben loved him too_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i by no means take credit for the lyrics, they are from The Predatory Wasp Of The Palisades Is Out To Get Us by Sufjan Stevens, which is an absolutely gorgeous [song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pBMwwJMkcRA), and also beautiful [live](https://youtu.be/I8nBYZiSc9s?t=2m43s).
> 
> (and the ‘isolation cabin at summer camp’ is definitely a reference to The Parent Trap, FYI… i love that movie)
> 
> i re-did the [moodboard](http://bioticnerfherder.tumblr.com/post/156292434331) for the fic! and alas, the next chapter is the epilogue :')


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> content warning for TOOTH ROTTING FLUFF!

Hux awoke to an empty spot beside him, Millicent purring on his chest, and the soft sound of chords being played on the ukulele. Stretching out his pleasantly sore muscles, Hux pushed Millie off of him and rolled over to angle his head at the foot of the bed. He smiled at the sight that awaited him.

Ben sat cross-legged on the floor, clad in only his boxers and his hair half up, playing Hux’s ukulele in the sunlight streaming through the window. The small instrument was absolutely dwarfed in Ben’s hands, and yet he still somehow managed to pick at the thin strings delicately enough to make it sound beautiful. After repeating the chords a few times to get used to them, Ben began to sing softly along.

Hux wouldn’t mind waking up like this every morning.

‘Sneaking around’ wasn’t the best term for what he and Ben had been doing for a month now, seeing as Ben hanging out with Hux or crashing at his place wasn’t out of the ordinary. Since most of the past few weeks had consisted of Hux editing their recordings in lieu of rehearsal, Ben had been at Hux’s apartment more often than not; usually with the excuse of “helping Hux mix the album” and ending with Ben staying over (with the added bonus of Hux _not_ sleeping on the floor).

A thought crossed Hux’s mind - a crazy, possibly too sudden thought, but damn it all he’d spent three years silent and now he found himself saying whatever crossed his mind, _especially_ when it came to Ben.

“The whole ‘covering Elvis on a ukulele’ thing has already been done,” Hux remarked to get Ben’s attention. “That video has several million views on YouTube.”

Ben jumped slightly before stilling his fingers and turning his head to look at Hux. “Didn’t realise you were awake… unless I woke you, then I’m sorry.” He smiled, scooting across the floor and closer to the bed. He planted a quick kiss on Hux’s lips. “Good morning, Armie. And no, that wasn’t for anyone else’s ears except yours.”

“That’s fine then,” Hux grinned. “I actually had an idea.”

“What is it?”

Hux sat up straight, keeping the bed sheets pulled up to his waist and draped over his lap (though the effort to conceal himself was futile, because by now Ben knew his body as well as he did). He adopted a serious look, and Ben’s demeanor shifted slightly in reaction to the change in Hux’s body language. Ben set down the ukulele on the floor next to him, settling his hands over his knees.

“Well,” Hux started, his eyes glued to the window. “You’re still technically living on Rey, Finn, and Poe’s futon. But you spend most of your time here. So perhaps it’s time for you to stop living on a futon and…” Hux trailed off, shifted his gaze to Ben. “And just start living here.”

Ben raised an eyebrow.

“I know this apartment is small, but my lease is over in July so it’d only be temporary. We could look for a new place… together.”

“Armie…” Ben tilted his head with concern. “Are you sure you want to live with me? We’ve only just begun this… this new life together.”

Hux rolled his eyes. “We lived together for four years, I know what it’s like to live with you, you oaf. And, with that knowledge alive and well, I _still_ asked you to move in with me.”

A pause, and Ben launched himself onto the bed, tackling Hux and pinning him down (ignoring the complaints from Millie, who was not happy with her peaceful slumber being disrupted by all these sudden movements). Ben kissed him fiercely, pulling away what Hux considered too soon.

“I love you,” Ben said breathlessly.

Hux responded by kissing the tip of Ben’s nose with a smile. “That’s a yes, then?”

Ben grinned.

“But… how are we going to break the news to everyone else?”

_Shit._ Hux hadn’t thought about that.

***

_@StarkillerMusic tweets: Sorry for the lack of activity! I’ve been working on a project with friends that we are excited to finally release - stay tuned! #Starkiller  
_ _ > Retweeted by: Kylo_Ren, beebeeatemyhwk, FN2187, Back2Jakku, CaptainChrome, 86 more... _

_@Kylo_Ren tweets: worked very hard on this album w/ @StarkillerMusic @Back2Jakku @beebeeatemyhwk @FN2187 @CaptainChrome but happy to announce it drops today!  
_ _ > Retweeted by: StarkillerMusic, CaptainChrome, Back2Jakku, beebeeatemyhwk, FN2187, 19 more… _

_@Takodana_Williamsburg tweets: Our very own Millennial Falcon releases their album today! Catch the exclusive first performance of their first single here this weekend!_

_@bazine tweets: my good friend @StarkillerMusic and his band dropped their album today. really excited to listen!_

_@Calrissian_Studios tweets: NEW music recorded in our Brooklyn studio, just released! See last RT!_

_@Kylo_Ren tweets: it’s here! listen on spotify, download on bandcamp: tinyurl.com/millennialfalcon  
_ _ > Retweeted by: StarkillerMusic, CaptainChrome, Back2Jakku, beebeeatemyhwk, FN2187, bazine, Takodana_Williamsburg, Calrissian_Studios, 213 more… _

Hux squinted at his phone.

“Well, your tweet with the link is starting to get a lot of retweets, so I suppose that’s a good sign?”

Ben smirked at him and grabbed his phone out of his hands. “Armie, we said no checking, remember?”

“Yes, yes, I know,” Hux rolled his eyes. “But I was just texting Rey to see where they were, I couldn’t help but check.” His phone vibrated in Ben’s hands so he held an open palm towards him. “That’ll be Rey, let me see what she says.”

“Nope,” Ben leaned away from Hux, sticking an arm out to keep Hux from reaching his phone. “They’re getting off the subway now. And why does she get a heart emoji next to her name but I don’t?”

“Because _she_ put it there. Anyway she deserves it more than you,” Hux stuck his tongue out.

Ben chuckled, his laugh as warm as the early summer weather outside, and leaned in to give Hux a quick peck on the cheek. “We’ll see. I might change your mind tonight.”

Hux flushed, sure his face was probably bright red if Ben’s raucous laughter was any indication, and glanced over his shoulders to make sure no one overheard. “Ben…”

Fortunately, everyone in the cafe seemed to be either engaged in their own conversations or had headphones plugged in, barely paying attention to the two men seated at the corner table. They were sat in the same cafe Ben had first told Hux about getting the band back together, all these months later, waiting for their friends to arrive. The six of them had decided not to look at the views on their album until a full day after uploading, just so they could be surprised (either in a good or bad way) over how the album was being received tomorrow. Hux and Ben had uploaded the album and tweeted the link right before leaving Hux’s apartment to come here and meet with everyone else.

“Relax,” Ben purred as he stroked the back of his index finger up and down Hux’s bicep. “The subway is like a five minute walk away. They’re not here yet.”

Hux sniffed, holding his hand out for his phone again, and this time Ben obliged, placing the phone in Hux’s palm and closing his own hand around it.

“No checking Twitter or Facebook.”

Smiling weakly, Hux pried his hand free from Ben’s and tucked his phone into the messenger bag at his feet. “Nope.”

Ben went back to stroking Hux’s arm. “The album sounds good. And Bazine promised to spread it across her vast network of connections. It’ll be fine.”

Hux sighed. He wasn’t really worried about the album. He was more worried about breaking the news of him and Ben to their friends, which Ben had decided to do. _Today_ , of all days.

“It’s not the album I’m worried about,” Hux frowned.

Ben slung an arm on the back of Hux’s chair, inclining his head with a curious look. “What is it?”

“Hey!” Rey’s face suddenly appeared frighteningly close above Hux’s shoulder, between him and Ben. “Sorry we’re late!” She playfully nudged Hux’s temple with the side of her head, doing the same to Ben before withdrawing.

“We’re not _late_ ,” Poe complained as he took the seat across from Hux. “Hux is just always fucking early. So early he even managed to get Ben here on time.”

“Hey!” Ben shot Poe a look as Rey and Finn sat on either side of Poe.

“Phasma?” Hux asked.

Rey shrugged. “She said she’s on her way and to order her a cappuccino while we wait.”

Hux rolled his eyes. “Of _course_ she did… while I’m up there, do you three want anything?”

He went up to the counter to order his friends’ various drinks, re-joining them for small talk as they waited for Phasma to arrive. She entered the cafe just as her cappuccino was ready (talk about perfect timing) and joined the chatter. The six friends conversed happily over their coffees for a few minutes before Ben cleared his throat.

“Actually, Hux and I have something we want to tell you guys.”

Hux swallowed. This was it.

Ben looked at him, smiling, and that was his cue to start. “Well, um, Ben and I…” he hesitated. Ben threaded his fingers through Hux’s, resting their hands on the table.

“We’re together,” he finished for Hux. “And… we’re moving in together.”

Their friends looked between them, remaining silent.

Then, Phasma silently lifted her hand, palm up, and held it in front of Poe.

“Damn it,” Poe mumbled, reaching for his wallet. He pulled out a few bills and placed them in Phasma’s waiting palm.

Rey coughed once, and Poe swore under his breath before adding some more cash to Phasma’s hand. Phasma took back her hand to count up the money and distributed half of it to Rey. Poe averted his eyes, busying himself with putting his wallet away, while Finn just simply looked at Ben and Hux, an innocent smile on his lips.

Hux exchanged a confused glance with Ben.

“What the fuck?”

“Well,” Rey started as she put away her winnings, “I bet Poe you guys had finally come clean to each other. Phasma bet him you’d tell us before Ben’s birthday. Obviously, he lost both wagers.”

“I just want you to know,” Finn interrupted, “that I love both of you and respect your choices and I was in no way, shape, or form involved in the betting pool these cretins,” he jerked his head towards Poe, Phasma, and Rey, “had going on. I knew you would tell us when you felt ready.” Finn grinned warmly at them.

“So… none of you were going to say _anything_?” Hux asked, his eyebrows raised.

Finn, Poe, Rey, and Phasma exchanged glances. They all shrugged almost in unison. “Pretty much?”

“Un-bloody-believable,” Hux muttered.

“Just out of curiousity,” Phasma asked innocently, “exactly how long has this been going on?”

Furrowing their brows, Hux and Ben looked at each other once more before Ben responded. “Like a month?”

“Fuck,” Phasma whispered, placing a crisp twenty dollar note in Rey’s waiting palm.

Hux felt annoyed yet weirdly entertained by all of this. “And that was for…?”

Rey grinned smugly. “Just Phasma underestimating how stubborn both of you are. She thought it was since Christmas. Now _I_ get to be the one to say I know you and Ben best.”

“Alright,” Poe interrupted, “now that we’ve got some announcements made and money distributed, it’s high time to start discussing our plans for this weekend. Otherwise known as Ben’s quarter-of-a-century birthday!”

Poe was forever looking for an excuse for a good party. Hux was just grateful for the attention to be taken off Ben and him, but he was probably more grateful that his friends had not only accepted the news but _anticipated_ it. Though, he’d have to have a word with them later about all this; if they’d all _known_ without saying anything, a lot of wasted time could have been saved… but what’s done was done.

“Actually, I’ve got some news too!” Finn said, visibly entertained when Poe looked dejected at the party planning being postponed once more.

“What’s up, Finn?”

Finn smiled sheepishly at his friends. “Well, the Brooklyn Symphony, it turns out, are looking for a new violinist for next season. I’m auditioning next week.”

Cheers of congratulations spread around the table.

“You’ll be amazing, Finn!”

“Make sure to get us season tickets!”

“Finally!”

“Thanks, you guys,” Finn grinned. He turned to Hux. “Would you have some time to practice with me over the weekend? I’d love it if you could listen to what I’m preparing for the audition.”

Hux returned his friend’s smile. “Of course! Now that the album’s out we’ll have plenty of time.”

“Yet _another_ thing to celebrate!” Poe waved his hands to get everyone’s attention. “Ben’s birthday, Finn’s audition, the album release, these two idiots getting their shit together…” He looked at Ben. “Buddy. Come on. Tell us what ideas you’ve got for Friday night.”

Ben beamed at everyone before turning and focusing his gaze squarely on Hux. “I’m fine with anything, as long as I’ve got you guys around.”

Hux felt the same way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the ukulele cover video referred to is Elvis’ [Can’t Help Falling In Love With You](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ThQkrXHdh4) by twenty one pilots
> 
> this is the first multi-chaptered fic i’ve finished, and i am pretty proud of myself for completing it! thank you so much for following along with my little AU :) your comments, kudos, and support mean the world to me! and if you ever need someone to yell at about being in kylux hell, come hit me up on [tumblr](http://bioticnerfherder.tumblr.com/) or [twitter](https://twitter.com/lazawaza) (or even stop by for just a chat!)


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